Second Chances
by Ryika
Summary: Five years after the fall of Shiganshina, Europa has found herself as the newest member of the Scouting Regiment. Commander Erwin himself had asked her to join, and she agreed without a second thought. It wasn't until her first day at headquarters that she realized this was going to be more than just a job for her. A familiar face surfaces, yet she can't remember just who he is...
1. Chapter 1

It was my first day on the job for the Survey Corps. I sat outside of Commander Erwin's room, patiently waiting for my first encounter with the man in charge. The door clicked and out walked a short, dark haired man. He walked past me without so much as a glance, head held high, and clearly not wanting to be bothered. Perplexed, I continued to stare at him until he had turned the corner. A nagging sensation crept its way into my chest. _I know him. I swear I do. But from where?_ But before I could get too lost in my thoughts, the commander called me into his office.

"Ah, Ms. Stonewall, a pleasure to meet you." He said, standing from his chair. I saluted him.

"Very glad to be here, sir. Thank you for allowing me to be apart of the Scouting Regiment."

"Glad to have you. We need more people with your experience and skill sets in this unit." He said, sitting back down.

The commander had a certain air about him. He exuded confidence, but wasn't cocky. He was a tall, well built man, with hair the color of freshly picked hay and his eyes were as blue as the morning sky. His physical presence alone was enough to demand respect.

"I have asked you to come here today in order for you to meet your colleague, Hange Zoe. She's leader of the fourth squad, and my second in command. She's also our main research scientist on the behaviors and biology of the titans." He explained. He sat back down at his desk and folded his hands neatly atop it. Just as I was about to open my mouth, the door flung open to reveal a wild faced woman with glasses and dark brown hair secured back in a messy fashion.

"Hi! You must be Europa!" The woman called to me. I smiled and stood up, saluting her. "Yes ma'am. You must be Commander Zoe." She waved a hand in the air as she walked toward me, "Please, just call me Hange." I nodded as she took a seat next to me.

Once Hange had settled into her chair the commander began to speak. "So Europa, while you may be part of the upper division in terms of research, you're still considered a trainee of the Survey Corps, thus, you still must be trained as such. Normally you wouldn't even be in the corps yet, but since you're a head researcher, we've made an exception. You will still be chosen for a squad at the end of the 104th squadrons training year, so do your very best. But I suspect I need not worry about you." He said with a twinkle in his eye. I nodded my head in agreement. _Hadn't expected anything less._

"We're well into the 104th squadron training year, but I assume your skills are more than qualifying. The only thing you'll need to improve is your maneuvering gear skills." I nodded my head once more.

"On the days that the corps doesn't have your full attention, I will be with you, devising experiments, collecting data, and writing reports. Typical stuff!" Hange added, excitement oozing from every pore in her body. Even in these few moments of knowing Hange, I could tell she was deeply passionate about her work. Every time she spoke of her research or it was mentioned, her face lit up with pure joy. It made me happy and relieved that my colleague felt the same way I did about research and development.

"Excellent. Hange if you would be so kind as to show her around? You both are dismissed. Welcome to the team, Europa." I stood up, smiled, and saluted the commander once more before exiting his office with Hange.

The sun was warm and welcomed against my skin as Hange showed me around the grounds. "So, Europa, what brings you to the Survey Corps, anyway? I mean other than the commander asking you to join. No one actively joins unless they're crazy." She laughed. I joined her laughter and said "Ah, I just wanted to be apart of something better. Something bigger, you know? I've done so much research and studying on these creatures but I felt like I wasn't helping as much as I could by doing that. The Survey Corps was my best option for fulfilling both." I sighed, "And after seeing all the destruction in Shiganshina, I decided my path permanently. There was just so much... So much sadness and pain. I would do anything within my power to make that stop."

Hange nodded her head. "I think that's a great reason! I can't wait to begin experiments with you! It is a dream to have someone with the same passion for knowledge as I! I'm so very glad you're apart of the team!" Hange practically yelled. Her excitement warmed my heart.

When I looked up once more I was in front of the mess hall. As if on cue, my stomach let out a monstrous growl. Hange and I both laughed and she told me to follow her into the hall.

It was a huge room, but it was only half full. _I wonder how many will actually join the corps. Doesn't seem like it's a very desired career path._ In reality, I suppose that it should have made me question my decision to join, but I did not falter. Rather, it made me feel even stronger about my my choice.

Hange walked me over to a table with five young cadets chatting away. "Hello everyone!" She greeted. All five saluted her and returned the hello. "This is Europa. She will be the newest trainee with you guys. I realize it's rather odd to have someone join so close to your graduation date, but rest assured she's just as good as the rest of you." I stood there awkwardly before them. _Did her and the commander really study me before they left? How do they know so much about me?_

"She is also my research partner so her time will be split between the two." Hange explained. A thin boy with brown shaggy hair and large, excited eyes stood up and introduced himself. "My name is Eren! It's great to meet you." Everyone else soon followed. There was Armin, a timid boy of slight build, with brilliantly blond hair and eyes that yearned for knowledge. Then Jean, with his light brown crew cut and long chiseled face, introduced himself with such vigor, it was hard to contain a smile. A boy named Connie sat next to Jean and excitedly said hello to you with the biggest smile. And last was Mikasa. She had hair the color of coal, and eyes that appeared uninterested, but when I looked closely, I could see she was always observing. Everything. Before she spoke, I could tell she had some sort of bond with Eren. A fierce bond that shown in her eyes as well as her mannerisms.

"It is so nice to meet all of you and I hope we will all get along!" I said, smiling. I was just about to sit down when Hange grabbed my arm, "Oh no, no! You have to meet the people you'll be with on a daily basis too!" My stomach cried out in protest but I nodded mymy head and followed. "I'll see you all around!" II said, waving to the five. "All of those kids have a lot of promise for the corps. Top 10 in the class." Hange stated, "we've already been looking at them as potential recruits. I we get a few to join."

She then led meme to a table with five people once again. "Everyone, this is Europa. She is my newest research partner. You'll be seeing quite a lot of her, so please be nice." She said, looking directly at the man sitting farthest away. _Oh, it's him! From earlier!_ Now that he was sitting down,I Itook a moment to examine him.

He was short and well built. The sinew of his muscles shone through his clothing, the result of all the 3Dmg usage no doubt. His midnight black hair was ever so slightly parted to the side and a few strands hung loosely above his eyes. He had a thin, narrow face, which only added to his blasé attitude. His long fingers gripped the top of a tea cup lazily as he brought it up to his lips and took a drink. It was then that he finally looked meme in my eyes and curiosity consumed meme. His eyes were the color of selenite and held mymine with such a piercing glare,I I almost had to look away. Almost. But II held his gaze until Hange interrupted mymy train of thought.

"Europa this is Olou, Eld, Gunther, Petra and Levi. All members of the Special Operations Squad." Hange explained.

"Captain Levi, _brat_." He scolded Hange. She took no notice and proceed to sit down. "It is very nice to meet all of you" II said, saluting them before took a seat.

The captain sat across from me. I was urging myself to look away, so I examined the rest of the members.

Olou had shaggy hair the color of wheat fields during dawn. His face was square and flat but it appeared to be stuck with the look of a pretentious attitude. He eyed me, judgingly. I gave a mental eyeroll.

Petra had the face of a timid doe, and eyes that sparkled with genuine goodness. Her strawberry blond hair was cut short and blunt, just barely touching her chin. She smiled warmly at me and I couldn't help but smile back.

Gunther and Eld were in a heated discussion as I studied their faces. Eld looked calm and relaxed despite their passionate discussion. He had honey colored hair tied back loosely in a bun. Gunters hair was chocolate brown and appear to be blown back by the wind permanently. His brows furrowed as he retorted. His cheeks flushed from his argument.

My eyes landed on the captain once again. He looked absolutely displeased with his surroundings, and especially displeased with my presence. He looked everywhere _but_ in my general direction, and for some reason it that made me want to stare at him even more. I caught myself before I got too carried away, hoping no one noticed.

It was a weird quirk I'd always had. I'd always been insatiably curious and inquisitive about everything. I loved to observe living beings behaviors and actions since no two people were the same; it was fascinating. But the ones I couldn't figure out relatively quickly were the most interesting of all. The Captain was _exactly_ that. I decided that I absolutely needed to know more about him.

LEVI

Hange was making her way over with a new trainee in tow. Levi sighed, _another idiot to look after, no doubt_. As they came into better focus, he realized that was the girl that had seen sitting outside of Erwin's office earlier in the day. He had felt her stare at him as he walked away, and was curious to know why, exactly, she had done that.

"Everyone, this is Europa. She is my newest research partner. You'll be seeing quite a lot of her, so please be nice." Hange said while staring directly at the captain. An unfamiliar tightness took hold of the captains stomach, but he brushed it aside and rolled his eyes and looked down at his tea. _How annoying._ When he looked up once more, his gaze was met by a pair of inquisitive hazel eyes staring back. He did not blink, and nor did she. Unlike most new cadets, she didn't look away. She held Levi's gaze like a magnet until Hange asked for her attention.

This girl made him uneasy. She had made him feel something he hadn't felt in a while. What was it? He couldn't pin-point it but decided there was no point dwelling on it and didn't worry about it any further. He decided to give his unknowing attention to Europa. He had noticed how she inspected every detail of his squad, and would without a doubt remember every last detail. She looked terribly at ease sitting at a table with such high ranking officers. Her molasses colored hair was tied back into a sloppily put together bun while wispy strands of hair hung gently around her eyes and cheeks. She was beautiful, to say the least, but Levi would never admit that to anyone, not even to himself.

Just before she flickered her gaze back at him, he looked away, desperate to appear completely unaware of her presence. He had succeeded, but was now more intrigued by this woman than he would ever care to admit. _Fuck. This is so bothersome. I don't have time for this shit._ He got up, taking his tea cup with him, and left the hall. The farther away from that woman the better.


	2. Chapter 2

A few days had passed since my arrival and I had already found myself already up to my eyebrows in research journals and notes. Hange and I had been theorizing different possibilities for why titans eat humans if they just regurgitate them back up in the end. It had been hours since I had started reading and with the afternoon sun creeping into the office, I decided to take a break. Pulling my hair free from its bun, I leaned my head back in the chair. _It's clear they can't digest us due to the fact that they have no way to expel the waste, but then why the need to eat us then? Is it evolutionary? Or maybe it-_ my train of thought was cut short by a tart knock on the door. "Come in." I called out. To my utter disbelief, Captain Levi himself walked into the room. I stood up abruptly to salute him, knocking all the papers off of my desk in the process. "Ahhh maaaan." I whined as I bent to collect the papers off the floor. "Sorry captain, give me -"

"Stand up and face me." He suddenly ordered. I paused and then slowly straightened myself out, only a few papers collected in my hands. My eyes met his stone cold gaze with a gaze that was just as cool. _I don't know who the fuck he thinks he is, captain or not, you don't get to order me around like that._ My jaw twitched in irritation but I tried to hide it as well as I could.

"Sir. To what may I owe the pleasure?" I said through gritted teeth.

"I was looking for Commander Hange but it's obvious she's not here." He looked around the office, disgust clear on his face. "Clean up this room. It's filthy" I watched as he ran a finger over my desk and wrinkled his face. "That's an order." I shook your head and stared at him in disbelief. "Pardon me, captain, but my office is organized just the way I like it. It may be 'filthy' to you, but there is a system to it." I replied shortly. He narrowed his eyes, irritation clear on his face. He took a white gloved finger and ran it along the desk again and held his hand up for me to see. "Absolutely filthy. I will not allow this. You _will_ clean this room or you _will_ have hell to pay. Do I make myself clear?" He ordered, his voice suddenly becoming more authoritative. I swallowed the curse words rising in my throat. _Probably not worth it at this point to argue. I'll be damned if I let him get under my skin._ "Crystal." I snapped. His eyes widened slightly at the curt reply and sat there and examined me. "Is there something else wrong, captain?" I asked, my voice thick with annoyance. "Yes. Your hair is a fucking mess. Secure it back or I'll cut it off. We can't afford to lose a soldier to a titan because it managed to grab onto something as stupid as your hair." My eye twitched as I resisted the urge to roll them at his attitude. As I reached for my hair band, I made sure to lock eyes with the captain. I secured it back into a messy bun and placed my hands back on the desk.

"Satisfied, _sir_?"

He scanned your face. "I guess that mess atop your head will suffice. Make sure Hange knows I was looking for her." He said lazily. I stood up to salute him and he turned on his heel and left. "What a fucking jerk." I mumbled as soon as I heard the click of the door. With a heavy sigh, I picked up the rest of the papers and set them on the desk. _Just what the hell is is problem?_

Hange finally walked into the office and greeted me with a loud hello. "Heeeey Hange. Did Captain Levi find you?" I asked, not looking up from my notes. "Yes he did. He wanted me to make sure you cleaned the office." I dropped my pen and looked up at Hange, narrowing my eyes. She looked close to bursting; she laughed and laughed while I sat there and pinched the bridge of my nose in annoyance.

"Well if you can't tell, I haven't cleaned at all." I huffed, "Just what is his deal?" I sighed, exhausted all of a sudden. Wiping the tears from her eyes Hange said "Short stack has always been that way. For as long as I can remember. He's just really cut and dry and to the point and is the biggest clean freak you'll ever meet." She chuckled. I stood up from my desk and pushed my papers into a notebook, closed it, and tossed it to the side.

"Well, I went through all these notebooks today and added my notes in green. Read them and then we can discuss it more tomorrow, sound good?" I asked Hange. She eagerly ran to the desk and picked up the notebooks and held them to her chest. "Yes of course! Oh, I am so excited to have your input, Europa! Your brain works so much like mine! This should be amazing! Ahhhh!" She rambled on. I smiled, saluted her, then made my way out of the office.

After I exited the building and walked into the courtyard, I found that the sun had only just begun to dip below the horizon. _Well, I can either go get food, go to sleep, or go to the training grounds._ I thought to myself. _I suppose maybe some training couldn't hurt._ Content with my decision, I made my way to the forest training ground.

I had yet to use the 3Dmg devices in their entirety, but I had a solid idea of the mechanics. I managed to pass the initial balance test with flying colors. Even though I had no gear on me, I still considered my newfound expedition as training. Once I reached the edge of the forest, I surveyed the land around me.

The trees were absolutely massive. They had to have been at least 100m in height. I was slightly intimidated by their height because I knew full well that I had to make use of it if I wanted to survive against a titan. The forest itself was massive as well, maybe 180m by 180m. A very fitting size for training. Walking into the forest, I immediately noticed the change in visibility. The trees blocked out most, if not all, of the sunlight, at least at this time of day. _I assume visibility improves depending on the sun's position in the sky._ As I continued to walk I could see marks on the trees from prior training lessons; some were high and some were very low. It appeared that the higher ones were only anchor marks from the 3Dmg's but the lower down the trunk I searched, the more scrapes and breaks there were in the wood. _We don't use actual titans to train in here, but I wonder just how it is that these marks get down here so low._

It was then that I came across a shadow at least 12m in height. My heart fluttered for a moment until I realized it was just a life size cutout of a titan. _Well, that was terrifying. How will I fare against the actual thing, I wonder?_ I shuttered at the thought. I had seen, first hand, the type of destruction they can inflict with, but I had never seen a real titan in the flesh. I studied the cutout curiously. There was a structure on its neck that appeared to mimic flesh. _Oh. So that's how we learn to kill them. I see, I see…_ It was then that I realized just how to use the 3Dmgs to their full advantage. I looked at the surrounding area and imagined what it would be like to use my gear to kill this titan. In theory, it seemed relatively easy. The mechanics made sense, they just needed to be executed properly. I continued to walk around, thumb and forefinger pressed against my chin, surveying the entire scene. I was so lost in thought that I hadn't even heard anyone approach me until I heard a voice call out to me.

"Oi! Trainee! What do you think you're doing here?!"

 _Oh, for fucks sake. Of course it's him._ I peeked around a tree trunk to find Captain Levi standing there, arms crossed, looking way more annoyed than was really necessary. "I'm studying… more or less." I replied. To my surprise, his facial expression changed. _He seems...interested?_ It only flickered for a moment, but was hidden once again by his stone-cold glare; I looked back at the titan cut out. "Studying what? This isn't the real thing. Tch, idiot. You and Hange really are one in the same." I stopped walking toward the cut out and turned right around and began walking toward him.

"I'm sorry, I think you called me an idiot? Surely I heard wrong?" I inquired sarcastically. Once again I saw an emotion flash across his face. _I think it was surprise this time_. "You heard correctly, brat. Walking around on the floor will get you killed by a titan, not the other way around. Tch."

"I think what you are failing to realize, _Captain_ , is that knowing how to use our gear is not the only thing you need to know when battling a titan." I retorted, staring him in the eyes. To my surprise again, and oddly, my delight, his asshole attitude came to a complete halt and all that remained on his face was an inquisitive glare. _Ahhhh. What did I say?_ He took a step closer to me, eyeing me up and down. "Well then let's hear it, brat. What else is there to know?" I cocked one hip to the side and folded my arms over my chest.

"Well, in my personal opinion, I believe that you need to survey your area and your opponent first before going into battle. This really applies to any situation, though. I'm fully aware these are not real titans and I have no experience with the real thing, but I figure if I'm able to study these trees and their markings I can get a better idea of how best to maneuver through them to reach the back of the neck. I am also assuming that when these training grounds are active, these simple cut outs don't remain stagnant." I explained matter-of-fact and continued. "But there are so many variables out of my reach and control that I can't draw very many conclusions from this one area. But more information is better than no information." I concluded, shrugging my shoulders.

It was silent for a moment. _Ahhh ummm… do I say something? Why isn't he talking?_

"Interesting." Was all he said and for some reason that annoyed me. "Interesting? That's it? You come and pester me with your rude comments and that's all you can say?" I huffed, switching my weight to the other hip. He continued to stare at me, the ice in his eyes finally returning.

There it was again. That undeniable nagging in my stomach. _I know him. I swear I do, but from where?!_ It was driving me absolutely mad. I remember those eyes from so long ago. But from where? The underground? _Surely I would have remembered him from my time as a doctor, but that wasn't it._ _My memories of the underground are so hazy, and it doesn't help that I don't try to remember them either._

He stared at me with annoyance, once again. "You had better learn how to speak to your superiors, you little shit. You may be Hange's partner, but you're still a lowly cadet, and thus must follow my orders." He warned darkly. I took another step closer to him. We were both barely arms length apart. "Captain, I will listen to you when the situation permits, but where research and development is concerned, I'd prefer that you keep that mouth of yours shut. I will not be talked down to in my area of expertise by someone who doesn't even have an inclination to care about my work." I stopped and took a breath and took one more step forward. He didn't flinch and neither did I. I lowered my voice, "I am not one of your stupid, carefree 'little shits' fresh off the imagination boat. I may not have experience with titans, but I have seen more awful shit than I have ever thought I would. So don't treat me like I am such, and I won't defy you." I warned.

I quickly found his gloved hands holding me by my collar, his face inches from mine. My heart began to race upon realizing this. He was about to open his mouth to speak but I grabbed his hands and kicked his legs out from under him. He lay on his back, completely shocked. I bent closer down to his ear and whispered, "Try that again, and I won't be so kind as to leave your arms unbroken." I stepped off of him and began walking away. _The nerve. The fucking NERVE_.

LEVI

As he made his way back towards his office, Levi noticed the new girl walking towards the training forest. _Tch, I wonder what trouble she's going to get herself into._ He thought, annoyed. As captain, he decided to take it upon himself to follow her and make sure she didn't hurt herself. And much to his dismay, he was genuinely curious about her. No one ever spoke to him the way she had.

He watched as she stopped just outside the forest and looked around. _Idiot. What is she doing? Looking for someone?_ He wondered. After a moment Europa started walking into the forest. "Tch. How bothersome. What could she possibly be doing without gear?" He waited and then began following in after her.

Levi studied Europa from a far. Her dark hair was put up in that annoying messy bun and her face was stuck in deep thought. The way she pressed her fingers to her chin and walked around slowly, taking in every last detail, and the intrigue in her eyes made the captains stomach flip. _That exact face she's making..._ He shook his head. _I don't need this shit right now._ Levi decided to break her out of her trance.

"Oi! Trainee! What do you think you're doing out here?" He yelled to her. Her serene gaze disappeared as she realized who had called her. Ever studying eyes looked over at him and regarded him up and down quickly before speaking.

"I'm studying… more or less." Levi almost smiled. Almost. He didn't know what answer he had been expecting, but that definitely wasn't it. And for some reason it made him want to be closer to her. He would never admit that though. Instead he said "Studying what? This isn't the real thing. Tch, idiot. You and Hange really are one in the same." Of course he didn't really think she was an idiot, but he could not treat her any differently. He was her captain, after all. But he was truly interested to hear what she had to say and so he waited for her to speak.

"I'm sorry, I think you called me an idiot? Surely I heard wrong, right?" And there was that attitude again. Oh, how it set his nerves on edge. "You heard correctly, brat. Walking around on the floor will get you killed by a titan, not the other way around. Tch."

"I think what you fail to realize, _Captain_ , is that knowing how to use our gear is not the only thing you need to know when battling a foe." She replied crisply. Levi's interest had been significantly peaked. It wasn't often that he spoke to people for recreation. Her answer was long and detailed. And yet, the whole time Levi couldn't help but stare at her, openly and freely. She truly was beautiful. Long dark lashes framed her rounded hazel eyes and only added to the bright look in them. When the light caught them just right, they would change color - sometimes a vivid speckle of green and bronze and sometimes they'd look like melted pools of copper with a sprinkle of moss and cyan flakes. She had a rounded face that was warm and inviting. It was the type of face that made people believe in things like trust and hope. The last thing he observed was the lustful curves of her lips and how her bottom lip ever so slowly curled over, creating a devilish pout. The corners of her mouth were slightly upturned, indicating she enjoyed what she was talking about. Levi's thoughts scattered for a moment, but he collected himself.

Unfortunately, he was so caught up in her features, he didn't actually listen to what she had said. So all he could reply was "Interesting."

That seemed to have been the wrong thing to say as she replied harshly. Levi had to come up with something quick so as to not give himself away. "You better learn how to speak to your superiors, you little shit. You may be Hange's partner, but you're still a lowly cadet, and thus must follow my orders." This only seemed to make her more angry and caused her to snap quickly. Levi was slightly taken aback. Almost immediately he found himself nose and nose with her. "I am not one of your stupid, carefree 'little shits' fresh off the imagination boat. I may not have experience with titans, but I have seen more awful shit than I have ever thought I would. So don't treat me like I am such, and I won't defy you." She hissed at him. Levi immediately grabbed the collar of her shirt and stared her deep in the eyes but quickly found himself flat on his back. _What the hell just happened?_ He thought, shocked. Europa had stepped above him and leaned so close to his face that he could feel her hot breath on him as she spoke.

"Try that again, and I won't be so kind as to leave your arms unbroken." She threatened. And she was serious, her voice did not waiver.

Levi just lay there, immobile, and in shock from what just happened. She had laid him out flat on his ass without breaking so much as a sweat. Levi was extremely impressed; he never thought he'd see the day when this would happen.


	3. Chapter 3

I marched off intent on getting as far away from him as possible. A small part of me thought that I should have gone back to apologize seeing as he was my superior, but I refrained and continued onward. It wasn't long before I heard his footsteps behind me. I continued walking, pretending to be oblivious. His hand grabbed my shoulder and spun me around. i immediately found myself nose to nose with him. His breathing was slightly heavier but I couldn't tell if it was from him trying to catch up with me or because of how close we were. We stood there for what seemed like eternity, just staring at eachother. Slowly, my anger melted as I stared into his cloudy gray eyes. I opened my mouth, but no words came out. _What is happening to me? I'm never like this!_ Just as quickly as the moment had started, it ended. He shook his head and scoffed at me then walked away. _What the actual fuck was that about?_ I stood there for a moment longer and then made my way towards the sleeping quarters.

All of my roommates were fast asleep by the time I had come back. I hadn't realized how late it had gotten, nor how exhausted I was. As I lay my head down, my thoughts were consumed by the captain.

All of the day's events flashed through my mind. His attitude remained consistent yet there were a few discrepancies. It was apparent that he didn't like me very much. And he certainly didn't like me prior to me snapping back at him either. Hange said that's just how he is, and I assumed that was true, but I got the feeling that there was something about me that set me just a little bit above the rest in his book. _Maybe I should stop with the attitude? No, fuck that. Nobody gets to talk to me like that unless I actually deserve it._ I sighed. He was absolutely infuriating. Usually, I could break down someone's personality and behavior after my first encounter with them, but with Levi it was different. All signs pointed to unemotional and generally put off by any sort of verbal interaction. Yet... Yet he pursued me into the forest and chose to speak to me of his own accord. And I know I had seen a few real emotions reveal themselves during our exchange. "Gaaah." I groaned aloud. Mikasa stirred above me. _Whoops. Forgot I wasn't alone._ I sighed heavily once more and slowly drifted off into sleep. _Captain..._

 _"What are you doing?! What are you doing to her?!" A scream came from the doorway. A female silhouette stood illuminated in the doorway. A heavy object dropped from somewhere close to you. You looked around, unsure of where you were. "What am I doing?! I'm helping humanity! Isn't that what you wanted!? Isn't this what you agreed upon?!" A heavy voice boomed right in front of you. You put your tiny hands over your ears and closed your eyes. 'Not again. Why are they always fighting? Why are they so angry with me? What did I do?' You cried silently to yourself._

 _Suddenly, you became extremely dizzy. The room started swaying under you and you thought you might throw up. Pain started seizing your entire body. A blood curtling scream erupted from your mouth and both people shut up. "Shit. It's happening again! Europa stay with me! Stay with Daddy! Don't give in!"_

I awoke, gasping for breath, my nightmare quickly fading from memory. I scrambled out of bed in search of a pen and a notebook. It was paramount that I wrote this down while I remembered. I wrote with urgency until I had no more memories to recall. These types of nightmares had come and gone throughout my entire life. I had enough snippets to gather that my parents had been doing some sort of testing that involved me, but I still had yet to figure out what it was. My screaming and the pain that are what I would remember vividly, however. The pain was unlike any other that I'd ever experienced. It felt like all my my skin had been ripped off and the nerve endings were being freshly exposed to the air and my muscles felt constricted to the point of torture. It was something I would never forgot.

I lay in bed for a long while, notebook resting on my chest, wondering what it is these nightmares could possibly mean. Daybreak came and sunlight washed the room in a pale yellow glow. I decided to get up and take a shower before today's events.

Down in the mess hall, I managed to find a loaf of bread and a cup of green tea. Sitting as far back as I could, I opened my notes once again to review before speaking with Hange. It was still relatively early and I really enjoyed the silence in the hall. The sun peaked just above the windows and cast half the room into a burning pool of light.

I had gotten only halfway through all my notes when everyone began filling into the hall. I sipped my tea calmly, trying to ignore the current growing noise. Just before I was about to close my notes and go to the office, Hange appeared in front of me. "Goooddd Morning Europppaaa!" She practically yelled. "Good morning, Hange." I smiled. She pulled up a chair in front of me and began firing off questions.

"So what's your ultimate conclusion for why they eat us? Well, in response to our current data?"

"Well I'm going out on a limb here but what if they were somehow... Hmm... Related to us? Like, a different version of humanity, a cousin, if you will, that had somehow made themselves able to not need proper sustenance and such?" I spoke. Hange was silent for a moment, weighing my response.

"I was most intrigued by that idea in your notes. That was also one of the conclusions I had come to. But why would there still be titans if they learned how to be 'human' so to speak? I'm not quite sure I understand fully what you mean to say."

I was quick to respond as this is also a question I had asked yourself. "I have no explanation for that. That is why I can't put all my faith into this theory, yet. I would think staying a Titan would be better in a sense that they are the better predator, so why us? Why were humans created? Why would titans need to...evolve?" I questioned. Hange and I were both deep in thought. She opened the notebook again and studied hard. My tea had long since turned cold, so I excused myself from the table to go get a fresh cup.

I then noticed Captain Levi was there, getting his usual cup of black tea. I hesitated a moment, unsure of whether or not I _really_ wanted to chance an interaction with him. I gave in and stepped next to him, grabbing a hot tea kettle and poured the steaming liquid into my cup. I felt his hard glare on me, but I ignored him and set the kettle back down. Bringing the cup to my lips, I took the tiniest sip to see if I needed to add more tea leaves.

"Ah!" I cursed under my breath. This time he looked over at me and I felt my cheeks blaze with heat under his watchful eyes. Panicking, I turned around quickly and fast walked back to my chair _. Ahh damn it. The last thing I want is for him to see me as inferior in anyway and then I go and do something as stupid as burning my tongue._ I looked back over by the tea station and nearly dropped my cup. There he was, leaning against the counter just staring at me, an unreadable expression on his face. I locked eyes with him and we stayed like that for a minute. He took a sip of tea and finally broke the link and walked out of the hall, the faintest traces of a smirk upon his lips. I sighed in relief. Hange stood up and I followed suit, thinking we were going to the office. She spun around and said "Ohhhh no! Not todaaaay Europa! You're a trainee today! It's hand and knife combat training time!" She teased loudly. "Ohhh noooo." I groaned. "Oh, don't worry, you'll be fiiiiiine. Don't be nervous!" She tried to comfort. I just shook my head and started walking to the training grounds.

Any sort of hand to hand or hand and weapon combat training was the last thing I wanted to have to do. I'd rather have the captain yell at me then have to do this right now.

Everyone lined up in rows on the grounds in front of Instructor Shadis. He explained the importance of these skills and that we were to spar with whom ever until he blew the whistle. He blew the start whistle and everyone began.

"Hey new girl! Let's see what you got!" A particularly loud and obnoxious voice called. I turned to see Jean coming my way, chest puffed out in pride. I sighed and put my fists up. He smirked triumphantly and did the same. Before I could move a foot he was right in front of me with a punch coming my way. I turned my torso and dodged easily. He tried again with the other fist and you dodged that. Frustration was clear on his long face and so he tried to send a knee into my side. I easily blocked his knee then grabbed his arm and twisted it all the way behind his back until it felt like it would break. "OKAY! OKAY! OKAY!" He pleaded. I let go and he grabbed his arm, holding it gingerly. He looked at me strangely, then backed off. _Ahh man. Here we go._

Eren was the next to step forward. He always had to be better than Jean. And being better than Jean meant beating me, or at least trying to. Raising my fists once again, I waited for his move. Eren observed me for just a moment and then lunged at me. I jumped to the left to avoid him and sent an elbow down on his back. He slammed into the ground, but jumped back up fiercely. Eren observed me once more and this time waited to see what I would do but I didn't move an inch. Instead, I stood there, waiting. He flipped the wooden knife in his hand nervously and with a burst of speed came running at me, knife at the ready. I dodged the hand with the knife then grabbed the same arm, stole his knife, spun him around, and held the knife to his throat. Eren put his hands up in surrender "Jeez, Europa, you're a really good fighter. I would have never guessed it." _Kind of a backhanded compliment, but I'll take it._

I began walking away, hoping no one else wanted to challenge me, but, much to my dismay, Mikasa decided I were worth her time. _She's so sensitive over Eren. I wonder why?_ I stopped in my tracks and put my hands up, hopefully, for the last time today. Mikasa did the same and took up a defensive stance. _Oh. This should be interesting._ I thought, mildly amused. I came at Mikasa with a swift left punch and then a right uppercut. She dodged both by ducking and tried to knock me off my feet with her leg. I jumped in the air and over her landing on my feet and then sent a spinning kick her way. She narrowly missed it and sent a kick out to combat me. I caught her leg and spun her body till she lost balance and landed flat on the ground. I stepped back, fists still raised, waiting for her next move. Instead, she stood up, bowed and then walked away.

After realizing the fight was over, I had noticed a little crowd had formed. Even the... _Oh fuck me. He was watching too? Damn it, damn it, damn it._ It's not that I were embarrassed that he saw me fight, but more so that he found out I _can_ fight. I didn't like showcasing this talent. Usually when people found out how well I fought they tended to pester me about it till the rest of forever; I couldn't stand the spotlight being on me. I huffed and walked away from the group just as Instructor Shadis blew the stop whistle. _Thank god._

LEVI

It was training day for the 104th trainee squad and Captain Levi couldn't be anymore annoyed. He really saw no point in his being there - these weren't even scouting legion recruits, but Commander Erwin had sent him to observe and see if there was any potential for the corps.

He waited impatiently for the hand to hand combat training to begin. "How annoying." He groaned.

"Yeah I agree. I need Europa back in the office to discuss our next course of action." Hange said, materializing next to him. He glared at her. "I don't understand your fascination with her. She's a real bother." Levi sad though not fully believing his own words. He detested that fact that she made him question his emotions. Usually Levi was a master at not feeling much of anything. He didn't need any bothersome emotions getting in the way, they were what got you killed, in his opinion.

The training was underway and it was clear that Levi wasn't going to find many hopeful recruits. Most of them could barely spar. He sighed heavily. "Tch. Useless brats." He muttered.

"Welllllll since you'll be here, could you do me a favor and tell Europa to come to the office after she's all finished here? Thaaaaanks shorty!" Hange spoke then disappeared as quick as she had come. "Dammit. She always does this to me. Fucking brat." Levi hissed. He suddenly noticed that a crowd had formed around two of the cadets. He looked over to see Europa with a wooden knife at Eren's throat. She had let him go and now it appeared as though Mikasa was challenging her next. _Of course it's her. Tch._

The cadets were watching Europa and Mikasa spar, half cheering for one and half for the other. Levi's interest had been sparked and he walked over to get a closer look. Europa was unmatched in fighting, that much was certain. The way she moved her body while fighting was very familiar to Levi. It mirrored his own. He silently cheered for her, and watch as she brought the fight to a quick end. _She's only gotten better, it would seem. Tch._


	4. Chapter 4

Instructor Shadis gave everyone a big, long speech on how terrible they were, save Mikasa, Annie, and myself, and how that needs to improve, etc... As soon as we were dismissed, people started coming up to me left and right.

"Europa, how do you do that spin kick!?"

"Europa, where'd you learn to fight like that!?"

"Europa, will you teach me some of your moves!?"

My head was starting to hurt. _Would you all just shuuut the fuck up?_ I began elbowing your way through the crowd of people, ignoring their words, when suddenly everyone stopped moving around and saluted. I looked over to see Captain Levi standing before everyone. I slowly saluted him as well. He narrowed his eyes at me. "Everyone, leave, now." He commanded them. "Except you, Europa." He said meeting your gaze. _Ahh. He said my name._ I felt my cheeks warm and instantly I looked away from his penetrating stare. I huffed. _Just what was happening to me?_ I walked forward till I was before him.

"Why?" I snapped. Regarding me up and down he said "Hange requests your presence in the office now that you are done." He snapped back.

"And you stayed this whole time just to tell me?" I inquired, raising an eyebrow. The captain shifted on his feet and looked away for a moment then straight back at me, eyes sharp. "She didn't leave me much of a choice. It's not like I wanted to be here, brat. I've much better things to do than babysit the likes of _you_." He growled. I fumed. "Why are you so fucking rude?" I blurted out. Immediately, I clasped my hands over my mouth. _Ohhhh shit. Ohhhhhh shit. Shit. Shit. Shit._ His eyes narrowed to slits and he got right in my face. "You just earned yourself a full week of cleaning the mess hall and my office. _Everyday_. You will not sleep until it is finished, _everyday_. Is that understood, _brat_?" He explained darkly. I ground my teeth together. "Crystal, captain." I managed to reply. "Good. Now let's go."

We walked in silence back to the office. I wasn't quite sure why he was walking with me; his job was done, after all, he had told me where to go. He was unusually quiet, too, and it seemed as though something was bothering him. I was tempted to ask, but figured he was just angry from my outburst earlier. Either way, I didn't think I had any business asking him how he feels. _He doesn't care about me so why should I care for him?_

I opened the office door to find Hange submerged under a mountain of fresh papers. "EUROPA! FINALLY!" Hange yelled, jumping from her feet. "How was training? Good? Great. Now, let's get to business." Completely ignoring the captain, I took a seat across from her and began reading her notes. Captain Levi took to leaning against the wall and looking around at the still messy room.

"I thought I ordered you to clean this room up, brat?"

I looked up from my notes and turned around. "And I said I'm not doing it, I believe." Levi looked from Hange to me, hoping she'd back him up. She didn't even flinch. Actually, I didn't think she even heard the exchange. He looked back at me. "Two weeks cleaning the hall and my office. I'll add another week for every day this office isn't clean." He snapped. My blood boiled and I glared daggers at him, but his blank expression did not falter. I kept my mouth shut and turned back around to my notes.

"Okay Hange, I'm all caught up. What's the plan?" I asked leaning back in the chair and putting my hands behind my head. She pushed her glasses up and stared at me. A grin that would put even the Cheshire cat to shame spread across her lips.

"We are going to go capture some test subjects." She said calmly. I stared at her blankly, hoping my assumption was wrong. She didn't say anything else, just waited for my reply. "...and by test subjects you mean titans, correct?"

"What the fuck else would she mean?" Levi answered for her. I turned around slowly and seethed at him. "I don't recall asking _you._ " I spat. He was pushing me to my absolute limits. I turned back around and Hange nodded. "I know you don't have experience with the real thing or the 3D gear yet so that's why this expedition isn't until next week. Gives you some time to train a little bit." A devilish grin bloomed across her face once more. "And the captain here was kind enough to volunteer to be your personal teacher until then."

"Absolutely not." Him and I said at the same time. Hange held her hands up in neutrality. "I didn't decide this. Commander Erwin's orders." I closed my eyes and turned away from him. _The universe wants me to kill him. That's the only logical conclusion for this._

"You are to be in my office at six am sharp. Dont be late." And with that Levi left the room. I looked at Hange once more. "He really seems to dislike you, Europa. And I haven't the faintest idea why." She added, sarcastically. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. I'll survive. Let's just start designing some experiments."

Being cooped up in that office for hours made me realize just how hungry I had become. I wandered down to the mess hall and grabbed myself a loaf of bread, some soup, and a cup of green tea. My lovely, little secluded spot in the back was free. I parked myself in the seat, opened my book, and...

"Hey, Europa!" A voice called in the distance. I sighed and closed my book. It was Eren, and he was walking toward me, all smiles. "Hi, Eren." I managed a smile as well. "I was coming over to ask if you wanted to come sit with all of us. You don't have to sit alone, you know!" That was certainly not what I thought he was going to say, but I welcomed the offer. It never hurt to make some friends, I supposed. I grabbed my belongings and followed Eren over to the table. I sat at the farthest end and greeted everyone. There was a heavy silence around the group. It seemed as though my presence had made everyone tense. "Uhh... You guys can, you know, relax, I'm not going to bite anyone." There was a visible difference in everyone's posture and the chatter started up once more. I busied myself with my bread and observed everyone.

Mikasa was like a constant shadow to Eren. She seemed very nonchalant, but I also noticed she was on constant alert. Armin and Eren were talking and joking with her and it was obvious these three had been friends for quite a long time prior to all this. Their camaraderie was genuine and they had full trust in one another. Connie and Jean talked amongst themselves quietly, Jean consistently flickering his gaze toward Mikasa. _Ohhhh, wow. Okay. I would have never guessed that._ Reiner and Burthold also talked quietly amongst themselves. It would appear that they've known each other for a while as well.

"Europa?"

I snapped out of my thoughts. "Huh?" I replied. "Jeez, airhead. I've said your name like four times now." Eren replied. I chuckled, "I'm sorry. I space out like that sometimes. What's up?" I asked curiously. He hesitated. I sighed internally. "...well um, we were wondering..." He paused and looked around the table "...ahh, where did you learn to fight like that?" He said quickly. I pursed my lips and closed my eyes for a moment. "We can talk about this all once and only once so if you have a question, ask it." I took a sip of tea. "I learned from someone a long time ago."

"How long have you been fighting?" Eren asked again.

"Sixteen years." I took another sip of tea. "Where are you from? Is that where you learned it?" Armin asked. "The underground city. And yes." They were quiet for a second. "You're from the underground, originally?" Hange asked, suddenly right behind me. "What the actual fuck?! Where did you come from?!" I snapped, scared, then sighed.

"Yes. I was born there and left after I was called upon to go inside wall Maria to tend to the injured survivors of Shiganshina." I said, sipping your tea once more. Eren, Mikasa, and Armin all squirmed in their seats. _Oh no...they must be from there._ "Hmm. That's interesting. Levi is from the underground too." She said back.

And then it hit me...

 _The ground was hard and cold beneath me. I laid there, motionless, wondering what I should do. I was only a child, after all. It had been a few days that I'd been out here now. Blood, crusted and dry, was still all over my hands, their blood. My mom and dad were dead and I had no idea why. I was in shock._

 _Suddenly a hooded figure spotted me and walked over. I tensed in fear, knowing full well this place was full of bad people. The figure knelt down in front of me and pushed their hood back. Young, thundercloud colored eyes stared at me in curiosity. The stranger held out a hand. Gingerly, I took it in my own and the stranger helped me to my feet. "Let's get you cleaned up and get some food in you." He said, sounding slightly annoyed. My instincts told me that I could trust this man, and so I did, grasping his hand tighter and followed him wherever he took me._

The memory subsided.

Of course I knew Levi. That's what this nagging feeling had been. But it was so long ago since he had left. He had changed so much. _Oh, he probably has no clue who the fuck I am._

I tried to keep my face blank after she said that but Mikasa noticed. "Well, great for him." Was all I could muster.

"Anyway, I'm just coming over to give you the itinerary for next week. Have fun trrraaaiiinnninnnggg!" She sang and walked away. I pinched the bridge of my nose and raised my eyes. "Does anyone have any other questions? No? Cool." I said, indicating the end of their allotted time. I picked up my book and pretended to read. The others regarded me stragely but brushed it off and continued their original conversations.

 _How many years has it been now? 10 at least?_ I never thought in a million years that I'd see Levi Ackerman again. Ever. He had found me outside of my house shaking and terrified after my parents had been murdered. To this day I don't know why he chose to help me, but I have always been forever grateful to him. After he taught me how to defend myself and how to survive on my own and then suddenly I never saw him again. He just disappeared. Probably to come here, now that I thought about it. Feeling a little overwhelmed, I excused myself from the table and headed back to my room.

I lay on my bed thinking about this revelation. Should I confront him about it? And where were Isabel and Farlan? I remembered them never leaving his side. _Maybe they went their separate ways,_ I thought sadly. I took a shower and decided to go to sleep since I had to be in the captain's office bright and early. I groaned at the thought, pulled the blanket over my head, and fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

A few days had passed since my arrival and I had already found myself already up to my eyebrows in research journals and notes. Hange and I had been theorizing different possibilities for why titans eat humans if they just regurgitate them back up in the end. It had been hours since I had started reading and with the afternoon sun creeping into the office, I decided to take a break. Pulling my hair free from its bun, I leaned my head back in the chair. _It's clear they can't digest us due to the fact that they have no way to expel the waste, but then why the need to eat us then? Is it evolutionary? Or maybe it-_ my train of thought was cut short by a tart knock on the door. "Come in." I called out. To my utter disbelief, Captain Levi himself walked into the room. I stood up abruptly to salute him, knocking all the papers off of my desk in the process. "Ahhh maaaan." I whined as I bent to collect the papers off the floor. "Sorry captain, give me -"

"Stand up and face me." He suddenly ordered. I paused and then slowly straightened myself out, only a few papers collected in my hands. My eyes met his stone cold gaze with a gaze that was just as cool. _I don't know who the fuck he thinks he is, captain or not, you don't get to order me around like that._ My jaw twitched in irritation but I tried to hide it as well as I could.

"Sir. To what may I owe the pleasure?" I said through gritted teeth.

"I was looking for Commander Hange but it's obvious she's not here." He looked around the office, disgust clear on his face. "Clean up this room. It's filthy" I watched as he ran a finger over my desk and wrinkled his face. "That's an order." I shook your head and stared at him in disbelief. "Pardon me, captain, but my office is organized just the way I like it. It may be 'filthy' to you, but there is a system to it." I replied shortly. He narrowed his eyes, irritation clear on his face. He took a white gloved finger and ran it along the desk again and held his hand up for me to see. "Absolutely filthy. I will not allow this. You _will_ clean this room or you _will_ have hell to pay. Do I make myself clear?" He ordered, his voice suddenly becoming more authoritative. I swallowed the curse words rising in my throat. _Probably not worth it at this point to argue. I'll be damned if I let him get under my skin._ "Crystal." I snapped. His eyes widened slightly at the curt reply and sat there and examined me. "Is there something else wrong, captain?" I asked, my voice thick with annoyance. "Yes. Your hair is a fucking mess. Secure it back or I'll cut it off. We can't afford to lose a soldier to a titan because it managed to grab onto something as stupid as your hair." My eye twitched as I resisted the urge to roll them at his attitude. As I reached for my hair band, I made sure to lock eyes with the captain. I secured it back into a messy bun and placed my hands back on the desk.

"Satisfied, _sir_?"

He scanned your face. "I guess that mess atop your head will suffice. Make sure Hange knows I was looking for her." He said lazily. I stood up to salute him and he turned on his heel and left. "What a fucking jerk." I mumbled as soon as I heard the click of the door. With a heavy sigh, I picked up the rest of the papers and set them on the desk. _Just what the hell is is problem?_

Hange finally walked into the office and greeted me with a loud hello. "Heeeey Hange. Did Captain Levi find you?" I asked, not looking up from my notes. "Yes he did. He wanted me to make sure you cleaned the office." I dropped my pen and looked up at Hange, narrowing my eyes. She looked close to bursting; she laughed and laughed while I sat there and pinched the bridge of my nose in annoyance.

"Well if you can't tell, I haven't cleaned at all." I huffed, "Just what is his deal?" I sighed, exhausted all of a sudden. Wiping the tears from her eyes Hange said "Short stack has always been that way. For as long as I can remember. He's just really cut and dry and to the point and is the biggest clean freak you'll ever meet." She chuckled. I stood up from my desk and pushed my papers into a notebook, closed it, and tossed it to the side.

"Well, I went through all these notebooks today and added my notes in green. Read them and then we can discuss it more tomorrow, sound good?" I asked Hange. She eagerly ran to the desk and picked up the notebooks and held them to her chest. "Yes of course! Oh, I am so excited to have your input, Europa! Your brain works so much like mine! This should be amazing! Ahhhh!" She rambled on. I smiled, saluted her, then made my way out of the office.

After I exited the building and walked into the courtyard, I found that the sun had only just begun to dip below the horizon. _Well, I can either go get food, go to sleep, or go to the training grounds._ I thought to myself. _I suppose maybe some training couldn't hurt._ Content with my decision, I made my way to the forest training ground.

I had yet to use the 3Dmg devices in their entirety, but I had a solid idea of the mechanics. I managed to pass the initial balance test with flying colors. Even though I had no gear on me, I still considered my newfound expedition as training. Once I reached the edge of the forest, I surveyed the land around me.

The trees were absolutely massive. They had to have been at least 100m in height. I was slightly intimidated by their height because I knew full well that I had to make use of it if I wanted to survive against a titan. The forest itself was massive as well, maybe 180m by 180m. A very fitting size for training. Walking into the forest, I immediately noticed the change in visibility. The trees blocked out most, if not all, of the sunlight, at least at this time of day. _I assume visibility improves depending on the sun's position in the sky._ As I continued to walk I could see marks on the trees from prior training lessons; some were high and some were very low. It appeared that the higher ones were only anchor marks from the 3Dmg's but the lower down the trunk I searched, the more scrapes and breaks there were in the wood. _We don't use actual titans to train in here, but I wonder just how it is that these marks get down here so low._

It was then that I came across a shadow at least 12m in height. My heart fluttered for a moment until I realized it was just a life size cutout of a titan. _Well, that was terrifying. How will I fare against the actual thing, I wonder?_ I shuttered at the thought. I had seen, first hand, the type of destruction they can inflict with, but I had never seen a real titan in the flesh. I studied the cutout curiously. There was a structure on its neck that appeared to mimic flesh. _Oh. So that's how we learn to kill them. I see, I see…_ It was then that I realized just how to use the 3Dmgs to their full advantage. I looked at the surrounding area and imagined what it would be like to use my gear to kill this titan. In theory, it seemed relatively easy. The mechanics made sense, they just needed to be executed properly. I continued to walk around, thumb and forefinger pressed against my chin, surveying the entire scene. I was so lost in thought that I hadn't even heard anyone approach me until I heard a voice call out to me.

"Oi! Trainee! What do you think you're doing here?!"

 _Oh, for fucks sake. Of course it's him._ I peeked around a tree trunk to find Captain Levi standing there, arms crossed, looking way more annoyed than was really necessary. "I'm studying… more or less." I replied. To my surprise, his facial expression changed. _He seems...interested?_ It only flickered for a moment, but was hidden once again by his stone-cold glare; I looked back at the titan cut out. "Studying what? This isn't the real thing. Tch, idiot. You and Hange really are one in the same." I stopped walking toward the cut out and turned right around and began walking toward him.

"I'm sorry, I think you called me an idiot? Surely I heard wrong?" I inquired sarcastically. Once again I saw an emotion flash across his face. _I think it was surprise this time_. "You heard correctly, brat. Walking around on the floor will get you killed by a titan, not the other way around. Tch."

"I think what you are failing to realize, _Captain_ , is that knowing how to use our gear is not the only thing you need to know when battling a titan." I retorted, staring him in the eyes. To my surprise again, and oddly, my delight, his asshole attitude came to a complete halt and all that remained on his face was an inquisitive glare. _Ahhhh. What did I say?_ He took a step closer to me, eyeing me up and down. "Well then let's hear it, brat. What else is there to know?" I cocked one hip to the side and folded my arms over my chest.

"Well, in my personal opinion, I believe that you need to survey your area and your opponent first before going into battle. This really applies to any situation, though. I'm fully aware these are not real titans and I have no experience with the real thing, but I figure if I'm able to study these trees and their markings I can get a better idea of how best to maneuver through them to reach the back of the neck. I am also assuming that when these training grounds are active, these simple cut outs don't remain stagnant." I explained matter-of-fact and continued. "But there are so many variables out of my reach and control that I can't draw very many conclusions from this one area. But more information is better than no information." I concluded, shrugging my shoulders.

It was silent for a moment. _Ahhh ummm… do I say something? Why isn't he talking?_

"Interesting." Was all he said and for some reason that annoyed me. "Interesting? That's it? You come and pester me with your rude comments and that's all you can say?" I huffed, switching my weight to the other hip. He continued to stare at me, the ice in his eyes finally returning.

There it was again. That undeniable nagging in my stomach. _I know him. I swear I do, but from where?!_ It was driving me absolutely mad. I remember those eyes from so long ago. But from where? The underground? _Surely I would have remembered him from my time as a doctor, but that wasn't it._ _My memories of the underground are so hazy, and it doesn't help that I don't try to remember them either._

He stared at me with annoyance, once again. "You had better learn how to speak to your superiors, you little shit. You may be Hange's partner, but you're still a lowly cadet, and thus must follow my orders." He warned darkly. I took another step closer to him. We were both barely arms length apart. "Captain, I will listen to you when the situation permits, but where research and development is concerned, I'd prefer that you keep that mouth of yours shut. I will not be talked down to in my area of expertise by someone who doesn't even have an inclination to care about my work." I stopped and took a breath and took one more step forward. He didn't flinch and neither did I. I lowered my voice, "I am not one of your stupid, carefree 'little shits' fresh off the imagination boat. I may not have experience with titans, but I have seen more awful shit than I have ever thought I would. So don't treat me like I am such, and I won't defy you." I warned.

I quickly found his gloved hands holding me by my collar, his face inches from mine. My heart began to race upon realizing this. He was about to open his mouth to speak but I grabbed his hands and kicked his legs out from under him. He lay on his back, completely shocked. I bent closer down to his ear and whispered, "Try that again, and I won't be so kind as to leave your arms unbroken." I stepped off of him and began walking away. _The nerve. The fucking NERVE_.

LEVI

As he made his way back towards his office, Levi noticed the new girl walking towards the training forest. _Tch, I wonder what trouble she's going to get herself into._ He thought, annoyed. As captain, he decided to take it upon himself to follow her and make sure she didn't hurt herself. And much to his dismay, he was genuinely curious about her. No one ever spoke to him the way she had.

He watched as she stopped just outside the forest and looked around. _Idiot. What is she doing? Looking for someone?_ He wondered. After a moment Europa started walking into the forest. "Tch. How bothersome. What could she possibly be doing without gear?" He waited and then began following in after her.

Levi studied Europa from a far. Her dark hair was put up in that annoying messy bun and her face was stuck in deep thought. The way she pressed her fingers to her chin and walked around slowly, taking in every last detail, and the intrigue in her eyes made the captains stomach flip. _That exact face she's making..._ He shook his head. _I don't need this shit right now._ Levi decided to break her out of her trance.

"Oi! Trainee! What do you think you're doing out here?" He yelled to her. Her serene gaze disappeared as she realized who had called her. Ever studying eyes looked over at him and regarded him up and down quickly before speaking.

"I'm studying… more or less." Levi almost smiled. Almost. He didn't know what answer he had been expecting, but that definitely wasn't it. And for some reason it made him want to be closer to her. He would never admit that though. Instead he said "Studying what? This isn't the real thing. Tch, idiot. You and Hange really are one in the same." Of course he didn't really think she was an idiot, but he could not treat her any differently. He was her captain, after all. But he was truly interested to hear what she had to say and so he waited for her to speak.

"I'm sorry, I think you called me an idiot? Surely I heard wrong, right?" And there was that attitude again. Oh, how it set his nerves on edge. "You heard correctly, brat. Walking around on the floor will get you killed by a titan, not the other way around. Tch."

"I think what you fail to realize, _Captain_ , is that knowing how to use our gear is not the only thing you need to know when battling a foe." She replied crisply. Levi's interest had been significantly peaked. It wasn't often that he spoke to people for recreation. Her answer was long and detailed. And yet, the whole time Levi couldn't help but stare at her, openly and freely. She truly was beautiful. Long dark lashes framed her rounded hazel eyes and only added to the bright look in them. When the light caught them just right, they would change color - sometimes a vivid speckle of green and bronze and sometimes they'd look like melted pools of copper with a sprinkle of moss and cyan flakes. She had a rounded face that was warm and inviting. It was the type of face that made people believe in things like trust and hope. The last thing he observed was the lustful curves of her lips and how her bottom lip ever so slowly curled over, creating a devilish pout. The corners of her mouth were slightly upturned, indicating she enjoyed what she was talking about. Levi's thoughts scattered for a moment, but he collected himself.

Unfortunately, he was so caught up in her features, he didn't actually listen to what she had said. So all he could reply was "Interesting."

That seemed to have been the wrong thing to say as she replied harshly. Levi had to come up with something quick so as to not give himself away. "You better learn how to speak to your superiors, you little shit. You may be Hange's partner, but you're still a lowly cadet, and thus must follow my orders." This only seemed to make her more angry and caused her to snap quickly. Levi was slightly taken aback. Almost immediately he found himself nose and nose with her. "I am not one of your stupid, carefree 'little shits' fresh off the imagination boat. I may not have experience with titans, but I have seen more awful shit than I have ever thought I would. So don't treat me like I am such, and I won't defy you." She hissed at him. Levi immediately grabbed the collar of her shirt and stared her deep in the eyes but quickly found himself flat on his back. _What the hell just happened?_ He thought, shocked. Europa had stepped above him and leaned so close to his face that he could feel her hot breath on him as she spoke.

"Try that again, and I won't be so kind as to leave your arms unbroken." She threatened. And she was serious, her voice did not waiver.

Levi just lay there, immobile, and in shock from what just happened. She had laid him out flat on his ass without breaking so much as a sweat. Levi was extremely impressed; he never thought he'd see the day when this would happen.


	6. Chapter 6

I was on my fourth day of cleaning with the captain and it was beginning to wear my patience down to the bone. Everyday he had something snarky to say and it was driving me mental.

I was just about to leave to the mess hall when he called after me. "Oi! Where do you think you're going?! You made a mess pouring my tea, clean it up!" He ordered. That was the final straw. I dropped all of the cleaning supplies on the floor and marched right over to him, contempt oozing from every pore.

"I have absolutely _HAD_ it. How fucking dare you treat me like this?! I really don't know who the fuck you think you are, but to me, you're the biggest kind of asshole there is. You don't even remember me! You left me in the blink of an eye and now you think you can just tell me what to do like I'm your servant? Fuck that and fuck this. I don't deserve this from you." I stopped to catch my breath. I placed my hands on his desk, leaned forward, and stared at his impassive face. There was no stopping these words now.

"Did I really mean that little to you? So little that you just packed up and left without so much of an explanation? You were all I had, Levi. _All I had!_ And you knew that! You fucking knew that! Yet, here you are in your swank office with your big badass reputation. I never in a million years thought I'd see you again, and especially not under these circumstances." I slammed my fists down onto his desk. Unforgiving tears were starting to pool in my eyes.

"You hurt me. You hurt me so bad that I _chose_ to forget you. And now I'm pissed that I'm remembering you and everything that comes with that again because you clearly have no clue who I am." The tears were silently falling down my cheeks. I clenched my fists tighter and looked down. He was silent for a long while, his face betraying no emotion. "I looked up to you. You were my mentor. Fuck, I wanted to _be_ like you. You showed me that I could survive on my own and be okay. You made me believe that everything would be _okay_. You were the only person I could consider family. I bet you left Isabel and Farlan too, huh?" I stared at him, tears glistening on my cheeks, hoping he could see the torment in my eyes.

The realization of what I just did hit me and panic ensued. _Oh shit. Shit. I did it. I lost it. I need to leave._ Tears still falling from my eyes, I turned around and practically ran out of his office and straight for my room. _How could I have been so stupid?! I let my emotions get the better of me. Damn it._

I laid on my bed hugging my pillow and cried more than I had in years. So many emotions and memories came rushing to the surface. It was just all too much for me to handle all at one time.

 _"Stay hidden." Levi whispered to me. He had taken me with him on a little trip into the heart of the underground. Isabel and Farlan were with him, as usual, and they were attempting to get some supplies. At 11 years old I was hardly a useful asset, but I had begged to tag along because anything was better than being holed away by myself all day while they were gone._

 _I had stuffed myself into an old crate overlooking the shop the three had set their sights on. Completely out of sight, I watched as the gang created quite a ruckus inside the shop. "Oh, here comes the big finale!" I whispered excitedly. With a sudden crash the three burst from the shop running straight towards me. "Go back!" I heard Levi command. I knew he meant go back to the their current hiding place. I slipped out of the crate and took off running in the opposite direction as the three. Levi had taught me that it was safer to run away from them at first so I didn't get caught._

 _My feet felt like they were barely hitting the ground. I moved in quick, light, steps, zigzagging through crowds and around corners. I was getting close to my destination when a huge, muscled, arm seized the back of my shirt and yanked me back. I lost my balance and fell backwards onto my butt with a muted 'thud'. A dark chuckle escaped the man's lips. "Looky 'ere." He spoke, examining my face._

 _He was an ugly man, to say the least. His eyes were much too small for his bald, boulder shaped head and his eyebrows, thick and black, jutted over his eye sockets casting a deep shadow over them. His facial hair grew in patches along his jawline and neck and his huge, bulbous nose looked like a cap that kept his face screwed in placed. I gazed back at him, fear closing in on me._

 _"You'll be a fine addition to me selection. You'll earn me quite a pretty penny." His words dripped like slime from his rotted mouth. I shuttered at the thought of what happened to children, especially little girls, in the underground, Isabel had taught me about it. Despite the growing fear brewing in my stomach, I knew I had to fight back or escape. He released his grip on your back just long enough for me to snap up and bolt away from him. I ran as fast as your legs would take me, not bothering to look back. I heard his flurry of curse words fade in the distance as I ran away. Once I were felt I was far enough, laughter began erupting from I. Loud, boisterous laughs rippled through the air from my lungs. "Wow! That was close. Wooooo. I did it though! Ha! Levi would be so proud!" I cheered._

 _"I guess I am." His monotone voice said, suddenly beside me. My laughter stopped immediately and I stared at Levi in surprise. "You saw?!" I whined, slightly embarrassed. "Tch, you didn't think I would have let you run through the city that long by yourself did you?" He said crossing his arms over his chest. I clasped my hands behind my back and aimlessly kicked the dirt at my feet. "I'm strong enough to be by myself." I mumbled at the ground. I heard the smirk in his voice when he spoke. "Yeah, I guess you are now, huh?" He paused. "It doesn't mean I won't protect you, though." He finished, ruffling my hair. I looked up at him and smiled. Levi was always serious and stoic, but for some reason, he couldn't stay that way towards me. I was the only person to ever feel the warmth of Levi's personality, and I cherished it above all else. He was all the family I had, after all._

The memory ripped open and old wound in my heart. It was once my favorite memory, but over time I had grown to hate it. It made me feel cheated and lied to. _How could he say those things and act like that and then just leave? It still doesn't make sense. Unless all of it was a lie. But then why keep up the lie for so long? Why?_

Sleep soon found its way into my overworked brain and I passed out.

Despite my outburst, I still arrived at his office at six am on the dot. He let me in and a blanket of uncomfortable silence covered both of us. I made a move for the cleaning supplies but he stopped me. "Not today. Sit." He spoke softly, motioning to the chair in front of him. I did as instructed, clasped my hands in my lap and fidgeted with the hem of my leather straps. He didn't say anything, so I took it upon yourself to speak first.

"Captain, I'd like to apologize for my outburst yesterday. It was absolutely unacceptable and I accept any punishment you deem fit." The words tumbled out of my mouth much too quickly. Embarrassed, I just looked down at my hands and closed my eyes. He simply made a steeple with his hands and spoke.

"Europa, do you know why I joined the Scouting Legion?" He asked simply. I was completely thrown off by both his question and demeanor. "Um..no, sir, I don't." He was silent once more. I watched as he contemplated his next move. He decided to stand up and walked over to the window behind him, surveying the grounds. "I was originally going to kill Commander Erwin." My jaw dropped in astonishment. "I never had any intentions of becoming a permanent member of this organization, and certainly not a captain, either." He remained staring out the window, his voice betraying no emotion.

"Isabel, Farlan, and I were hired to kill the commander in order to obtain some important documents. In exchange, we would be granted a chance to live above ground." A painful silence fell over the room. "We had devised a plan to kill him when we went on our first expedition outside of the wall. But… but we didn't expect the weather to be as bad as it was. The storm was so heavy you could barely see your hand in front of your face." He shifted his weight but kept his gaze glued to the outside. I sat there, hanging off the edge of my chair. Something about Levi was definitely off now, I could feel it. The air around him had changed and I felt my heart sink.

"I told Isabel and Farlan to go back to the rest of the squads and regroup for safety. I told them I would find Erwin and finish this mission. It would have been so easy, especially with the weather decreasing visibility. I had barely made it halfway there when I heard the screams of everyone behind me..." A hand silently flew to my mouth and I gasped quietly, hoping he wasn't going to say what I had thought.

"A group of titans had intercepted them." His fists clenched at his sides, the only thing that gave him away. "I doubled back as fast as possible. It was because of my choice that they were in danger now. The fog was so thick, it was almost impossible to find them. By the time I did, it was too late. The titans had killed everyone, Isabel and Farlan included. I… I watched them die." His head dropped and I saw his jaw tighten significantly. "I killed all of them. All five of those titans, in one fell swoop. Fucking pieces of shit." He spat with venom. "I still tried to kill Erwin, but he convinced me that joining the legion would be the best thing for all of humanity. Isabel and Farlan would have wanted me to do it. Even in our short time in the legion, it was clear they both saw how this organization acted on behalf of humanity, and they truly believed in that idea, so I chose to stay, to honor them."

The air was still in the room. It was so quiet, a feather could have dropped and I would have heard it. I shifted nervously in my chair, unsure of what to say or if I should say anything at all.

"I had never planned on leaving you down there. We were going to finish this mission, and then I was going to come back and get you and take you to the upper level with me. I couldn't tell you about this mission for fear of putting your life in danger. By the time I had made my decision, I thought it better to leave you be since I couldn't take you up with me anymore. I knew you'd survive. But Europa..." He finally turned around, silver eyes burning into mine,

"...I never forgot about you. Not even for a second."


	7. Chapter 7

I sat there absolutely paralyzed. _He did remember me. He remembered the whole time. Oh god, I am such an asshole._

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." I whispered feebly to him. "I shouldn't have said those things to you. I... I didn't know...I'm so sorry." I stood up but he stopped me. "You had every right to say those things. It was my choice to leave you behind and at the time I thought that was right, but it's clear to me now that it may have been wrong." He turned his full body around to face me. "I had expected you to be angry with me, hate me even." He looked away, his face returning to his usual impassive and cold attitude. All the emotion had left the room and he went right back to business.

"You are exempt from cleaning today, but we will be training tonight. I'll come get you when I'm ready. Dismissed." I stared at him incredulously. He was already back at his desk working on paperwork, like nothing had even happened. Anger boiled inside me at first, but then was put out by an overwhelming sense of sadness and hurt. I left the room without saying a word and walked back to my room.

NARRATOR

Levi watched as the door closed behind her. He was surprised she hadn't yelled at him for dismissing her so quickly, but he soon realized he had hurt her even more by doing so. He leaned back in his chair and sighed heavily. Levi was at a complete loss on how to handle all of this. His head was spinning with emotions he never thought he'd have to deal with. _Why did she have to remember?_ He scoffed at the thought. _She would have remembered sooner or later. Tch._

Levi wasn't sure why he told her the whole story. He felt maybe he owed it to her. All the things she said to him were things he'd already told himself, but hearing those words come straight from her mouth cut him like a fine blade. He knew how much he had meant to her, the feeling had been mutual, and it still was. He knew he cared deeply for her still but couldn't bring himself to show her these emotions. _It's better this way,_ he thought, _if she hates me than we can just put all of this to rest_. He sighed once more, wishing he had a cup of tea to ease his restless mind.

He had wanted to tell her so much more. How leaving her behind was one of the hardest things he's ever had to do. Despite knowing Europa could take care of herself, he had worried constantly about her, hoping she were alive. He had wanted to tell her that he wanted nothing more than to go back to the underground after Isabel and Farlan had died to find her, but he couldn't break his vow to them and to the legion. He wanted to explain to her that he regretted every decision he made during that time and wished he could take it back.

He slammed his fists down on his desk in frustration. "Fucking brat. I don't need this shit. This is all so annoying. Fuck." He cursed out loud. Levi wasn't this person, he didn't worry about people like this. He didn't let feelings like this get in his way, _ever_. He had to do something about this. He had to make a decision. But which one was the right one?

He stared aimlessly at the door, hoping she'd walk through again, but alas, it stayed shut. He ran a hand through his hair and decided to finish his work. He'd make a choice by tonight, he decided, but he needed to make sure he wouldn't regret it.

EUROPA

I laid in my bed for a long while, thinking about the things the Captain told me. Part of me was relieved that he had never forgotten, but the other part of me was so angry that he never tried to find me again. _And what was that all about at the end? Why did he suddenly go back to being so...so impossible?_ It was just barely reaching mid-morning, so I figured I should go down to the mess hall.

A handful of people were there, chit chatting and eating. A light hum filled the room from the chatter, but I knew it was only a matter of time before the hall filled completely. I grabbed my usual cup of green tea and settled myself into my spot in the back. _Man, I did NOT want to start my day like this._ I pinched the bridge of my nose and rested my elbow on the table. _I don't think my brain can handle any more complicated thoughts today._ I picked up the book I had brought along and immersed myself in the fictional world.

Slowly, the hall began to fill and the gentle hum became a lively buzz. Much to my relief, no one came to bother me today - at least until lunch was over. Hange had found me at last.

"There you are! I've been looking for you all day! How's cleaning going?" She snickered. I glared at her with pure hate in my eyes. "Awful, as usual. That man drives me absolutely crazy." I replied, saddened at the remembrance of this morning's encounter. "Well lucky for you, you get to be with me allllllllllll afternoon!" She cheered. "Actually, you may have to fight the captain for me. He said he's going to train me today, I just don't know when. So I'm all yours until then, I suppose." Hange pouted. "Uuuhg. Fine. Stupid shortstack always getting in my way." She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "Well we can't waste one more second! Let's go!" I shut my book and followed Hange back to the office so we could finalize our experiments.

"Okay I like this idea, but what is our control in this one?" I asked Hange. "Well I figure the control would be the titans themselves in this experiment since we'll be adding and subtracting people to their line of sight." I nodded my head head in agreement. "So should the hypothesis be 'if a titan sees a group of two or more humans then they will be prompted to attack'?" I asked as I pressed my pen to my nose in thought. "Yes. I think that's fitting. Write that down." She instructed. I wrote it down in my journal, prepping for a full report, when a knock sounded at the door. "Come in" Hange and I called at the same time. The captain walked through the door and stood before us. He surveyed the room, a twitch of annoyance found its way onto his face. I still hadn't cleaned the office so I braced myself for the flurry of insults to come my way.

"Let's go, Europa. I want to train while it's still light out. Hurry up." He said flatly. I was completely thrown off by his dismissal of the room and hesitated getting up. "I said now. Let's go." He ordered. "Okay Hange, do you think we have enough experiment ideas?"

"Yeah, I think we've got plenty. Good luck training with short-stack!" She snickered and continued writing in her notebook. Levi scoffed at her then turned on his heel and left; I followed behind quickly.

The walk was silent - awkwardly silent. Part of me wanted to start conversation but I had no idea if normal conversation was even possible after everything that had happened. Instead I took to observing Levi out of the corner of my eye.

He walked with purpose, looking straight ahead, barely acknowledging that I was there. He seemed preoccupied, but I supposed that was because he had more important things to do than train me at the moment. He had felt my eyes on him and looked in his peripherals at me. When our eyes met, there was something in his that I couldn't quite place. It was almost as if he needed me. Or needed something from me, rather, but he looked away quickly.

 _What was that about? What could he possibly need from me other than to clean? Oh, that reminds me.._ "I apologize about my office captain, I just haven't had time to get to it. I'll go after we're finished." I said softly to him. He ignored me and kept walking. _Oh man, is this how it's going to be tonight? I do_ not _want deal with this shit._

We finally reached the training grounds. I walked over to where the gear was but he stopped me, "No. Hand to hand first. This isn't going to be just an in and out training ." He said, annoyed. I sighed lightly and began taking off my jacket and rolling up my sleeves. "Alright, if we must." I said, readying myself. He took off his jacket as well and stood before me, ready to fight.

It was silent and neither of us moved a muscle. _Do I go first? Or let him since he's my captain?_ Before I could make a decision, however, the captain made a swift punch towards me. I turned my body away from the punch and tried to send a knee up into his stomach, but he quickly maneuvered backwards and avoided my attack. While I had a free moment, I lunged forward and tried to land a punch of my own on him, but he grabbed my fist and bent my arm in the opposite direction. Moving swiftly, I rotated my body to get out of his hold, bent down and gave a low kick in an attempt to knock him off his feet, but he was too quick. He had jumped over my foot, landed back on his own feet and sent a foot flying at my head. I managed to block it with both arms in the knick of time. With almost no time to spare, I jumped backwards, and stood there, breathing heavy, observing him. He, too, was short of breath.

We both sat there and stared at each other for a long while. All these movements, all these actions were so familiar, for both of us. My heart ached at the thought of what it used to be like and I suddenly yearned to hear him joke about how bad I was, and then ruffle my hair and say he was only kidding. I sighed. _That was then, this is now._

Again, I went after him with all my speed. He dodged easily and sent an elbow crashing down on your back. "Uhg!" I grunted as the pain rippled through my body. _Damn it._ The pain only inspired me to pop up lightning fast and upper cut him right under the chin. He stumbled back and spit what appeared to be blood from his mouth. "Okay. That's enough." He said, panting. "Woooo. Alright. How was that?" I asked in between breaths. "Passable." I rolled my eyes, not caring if he saw or not.

After we both caught our breath, he decided it was time for the 3Dmg training. As I stood next to him, putting my jacket on, I noticed some blood on his face. "Hey, you've got something on your lip." I pointed out. He reached up and tried to wipe it away. "No, right here." I pointed to the same spot on my face. He tried again, and failed to get it. I snickered. "Well don't just stand there then, clean it up!" He demanded, crossing his arms like a flustered child. I took another step toward him and leaned in closer. I brought my fingers up to his mouth, staring at the delicate curve of it. His lips were slender and taut yet surprisingly soft. A small part of me wondered how they would feel against my own, but I quickly dismissed such ludacris thoughts and quickly wiped the blood off. "There. It's gone." I stated, matter of fact. He stared me down, his eyes moving from my own and down to your lips. Suddenly, his head snapped in the other direction, toward the trees and began walking away. A blush began to creep up my neck. _Oh God, what is happening to me?!_

The forest had become daunting all of a sudden. Training by myself or with my comrades was one thing, but here I was, training with humanity's number one solider. Up until now, I had been absolutely confident in my abilities and didn't worry about receiving ridicule from him, but now the field was wide open for his snarky remarks, and it made me just the tiniest bit nervous.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" He asked, looking me up and down. I fidgeted nervously, but didn't answer. "Tch." He shot an anchor as high as possible into one of the trees and flew up so effortlessly that it made me even more nervous. _Come on, Europa, you can do this. It's just Levi. Relax._ I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Okay. Let's do this." I whispered to myself and shot an anchor right next to his. I took off into the air, flying towards him. I let out a laugh at the exhilarating feeling of being almost weightless. Landing with a gentle thud next to him, I grinned from ear to ear. "Finally. Brat. Let's get moving." He said, his voice as lifeless as a dead body.

We both jumped from tree to tree until we were a fair distance into the forest itself. Once he was satisfied, we stopped and he motioned to the 12m titan cut out just in front of us. "Go. I want to see if you can even dent it." I narrowed my eyes at his subtle insult, but said nothing as I was still unsure of my own skills despite training with the rest of the cadets earlier that week. Taking a deep breath, I jumped off the branch and sunk my anchor into the back of the cut out. I came closer and closer to the back of the neck and with a swift flick of my blades, I cut right through the 'meat'. I launched another anchor immediately and swung up onto another branch. Levi was across the clearing from me, his expression unreadable. I made your way to him in order to get the final verdict.

"Sloppy and too slow. You would have been dead in an instant." He said with a slight undertone of anger. I huffed, irritated. "Okay, well how do I do better then?" I crossed my arms and waited for a reply. "You need to keep your extremities closer to your body until the very last moment. It helps you move through the air without much wind resistance. You also need to work on angling your body the right way in order optimize your options for attack." He stated smartly. I nodded my head, heeding the advice. "Let's find another one."

The two of us set off and found another 12m. Remembering what he told me, I held my arms as close to my body as possible and kept my legs together. The increase in speed was definitely noticeable and I felt like I had more control over my movements too. The neck was approaching much quicker this time. I responded as such and cleanly sliced a perfect chunk out. Landing on another branch, I pumped my fist in the air, proud of myself for such a beautiful execution. Levi stood waiting for me once again and so I jumped over to him.

I hadn't realized how quickly I was coming in because when I landed on the branch I stumbled, almost falling, but an iron grip had captured my arm and pulled me back roughly. I found myself pressed against Levi's chest and dangerously close to his face.

And then everything started to move in slow motion.

The silver pools in his eyes stared down at me with such brilliance that I couldn't contain the pink color that was blossoming all over my cheeks. Slowly, his free hand moved up to my face, tucking a stray hair behind my ear. Without missing a beat, his fingers traced the line of my jaw all the way to my chin and down my neck, causing a shiver to race down my spine. His hand cupped the side of my cheek and pulled me even closer to him until our lips finally met. I gave into the kiss without hesitation and all time seemed to have come to an abrupt halt. Never in a million years would I have ever pictured this happening, but for some reason it felt so right, so absolutely perfect that I wished the moment would never end. But as if on cue, he pulled away slowly and proceeded to look at me for what seemed like eternity, an insatiable hunger glowing in his eyes.


	8. Chapter 8

Everything was quiet, but the blood pounding in my ears was deafening. He placed his hands on either side of my face and brought me into another deep kiss. This time I returned the kiss with equal passion. His left hand made its way to the back of my neck and his right hand fell slowly down my neck, tracing gentle patterns over my skin. The feeling was nothing short of electrifying. He gently pushed me back until I felt the rough bark of the tree behind me. The kiss deepened and I wrapped my arms around his neck. His hands snuck under the collar of my jacket and onto my shoulders, slowly pushing my jacket half way down my back and arms, exposing the soft flesh of my neck even more.

Gradually, he pulled away from my lips and began kissing along my jawline towards my ear. He paused to nip at my earlobe and then proceeded to leave gentle kisses along the side of my neck. My body melted under his touch and I found that my mouth had parted slightly and my breathing was a bit heavier than before. His mouth open slightly and let out a soft breath when his teeth bit into the sensitive skin of my neck softly. Hearing my response, he bit down a little harder and this time a low moan escaped my lips. I was embarrassed, but couldn't help it. He trailed the tip of his tongue up the side of my neck and then I found his lips on mine once again. His tongue slid over them, begging for entrance, and I obliged without a second thought. Our mouths worked against one another seamlessly and his strong hands roamed freely up and down my waist. I pressed my body closer to his and could feel the growing bulge between his legs against my own. I blushed crimson at the sudden realization of where all this could go and panicked internally. Carefully, I placed both hands on the side of his face and eased it away from mine. He had gotten the hint and didn't resist. Instead, he stared at me with such a fire in his eyes, it made me blush even harder. But behind that fire I saw just as much fear as I had felt myself just then. _So the captain does fear things, huh?_

I held his gaze for a moment longer and then finally spoke. "Ahem... Um... Maybe we should continue training?" I suggested feebly. A smirk spread across his face, dispelling all of the emotions previously filling his grey eyes. "I suppose that _is_ what we came out here for." He glanced at my lips and kissed them once more, ever so gently, before finally pulling away from my body. I wanted to protest, but I knew this wasn't the time, nor the place. Now that the spell had been broken, I straightened up my appearance and tried to be as professional as possible.

"So, what next?" I asked. Levis face was back to being impassive and cold. It amazed me how quickly he was able to make these raw emotions come and go. "Let's practice on a few more cut outs and then call it a night. We'll continue tomorrow." He didn't look at me as he spoke, but I nodded my head and prepared my gear to launch. "And would you be more cautious? I don't need you falling and severely injuring yourself. We're short soldiers enough as it is." He scolded. I closed my eyes and pursed my lips into a smirk. "Whatever you say, _captain._ "

I awoke to the sun assaulting my eyes through the window. A low groan escaped from my mouth as I stretched myself awake. _Was last night even real?_ I thought skeptically. Groggily, I managed to force myself out of bed and hopped into the shower.

"It's Europa." I called from the other side of Levi's door. He told me to come in and I began my usual cleaning. Everything was normal.

Oddly normal

 _Too_ normal.

I felt a slight awkward tension begin to fill the room as the morning progressed onward. Neither of us spoke, and I sure didn't plan on it. _What would I even say? But I can't just act like it didn't happen._ I could feel his eyes on me every now and then as I cleaned. Sometimes I'd look at him and his gaze would not falter, he just stared at me with a fierceness in his eyes. Each time it sent a shiver down my spine.

As I placed his tea on his desk, his hand quickly grabbed mine and gently guided me around the table and in front of him. I stood there, unsure of what he wanted me to do. I leaned against his desk and folded my arms across my chest. "Are we going to talk about yesterday?" I said bluntly. He shifted his eyes towards me as he drank his tea. "What about it?" He said causally setting down his cup. I narrowed my eyes at him. "You know exactly what, _captain._ " This time his eyes narrowed at me, but a playful smirk crept onto his mouth. "I don't know what you're talking about, _brat._ "

This playful side was something I hadn't seen from Levi in years. I decided to relish this moment and keep it going. Getting a sudden idea, I let my hair out of its usual bun and let it fall in lustful curls around my face and down my back. I hopped up onto his desk and crossed my legs and looked at him with as much innocence as I could manage. "Oh, really? Because I could have _sworn_ you kissed me." I bit my bottom lip. He stood up and placed himself right in front of me. "You shouldn't tell lies. They get you in all sorts of trouble." He warned. It was my turn to smirk. I opened my legs and grabbed his lapels, bringing him face to face with me. My eyes were cast low, staring at his lips. An almost inaudible intake of breath could be heard coming from them and my smirk widened.

"Well, if I'm a liar then I guess I should be punished, huh?" I said in a low, husky voice. I let my lips ever so slightly brush against his. His hands found their way to the tops of my thighs and he squeezed lightly. I slid off the desk slowly, so that my body could rub against his, until my feet touched the ground. I had my hands resting on the top of the desk and I pressed my body against his. He opened his mouth to reply, but no words came out. I flicked my tongue across his lower lip, teasing him more.

"Too bad I'm not a liar." I said, pushing him away from me and making my way to the door. He looked at me with utter disbelief on his face. "Let me know when you want to be truthful and actually talk to me." I said, the tiniest bit of fire in my words. Before he could answer, I was out the door, a satisfied grin plastered across my face.

The day of the expedition was finally upon us and I was absolutely terrified. This would be my first time seeing an actual titan. My training with Levi had gone really well, minus a few things, and I felt more or less prepared, but something told me that nothing prepares you for something like this.

Levi had also gone back to being his typical emotionless self and acted completely oblivious to what happened between the two of us. Part of me was satisfied that he had managed to understand that I didn't want to participate in some stupid game of cat and mouse. I wanted his emotions and thoughts straight up, no bullshitting. But the other part of me was terribly angry that he _did_ remain silent. To me, that meant that him kissing me really wasn't that big of a deal to him; like it was something he could just casually brush it off. I had continued to clean the office and mess hall, but hadn't spoke to him. Today was the first time since he had kissed me that I was going to be around him as a teammate and not some lowly trainee.

I pushed all those thoughts aside and focused on the task ahead. Not only was this my first time with real titans, it was my first time outside the wall. Anxiety and fear were bubbling within me as I walked toward the stables to meet the special operations squad and Hange. The morning air was crisp and there was a light dusting of dew covering the ground and roof tops. Nobody was at the stables when I arrived so I decided to saddle up my horse until then.

As fate would have it, Levi was the next to join me. He glanced at me, but said not a word and walked over to his own horse to prep it. The rest began to trickle in shortly after that.

"Gooooooooooooood morning everyone!" Hange greeted excitedly. Everyone groaned back a response and waited for her to give us the break down. "My main objective today is to capture two, 3-6 meter classes and set up a lab in an abandoned area outside of the wall. I plan on having these subjects for the better portion of two weeks. It should give Europa and I a decent amount of time to run our experiments. Any questions?" Everyone was silent. "Alright then, let's move out!" We mounted their horses and began heading out of the city to the wall.

"Are you okay, Europa?" Petra inquired as we rode. She looked at me with wide, concerned eyes. I nodded, a little too vigorously, and replied. "Yeah, I'm fine. It's just the first time I've been beyond the wall." I looked away from her, hoping Levi hadn't heard me. "Well don't worry. We're an excellent team. And as long as we have Captain Levi, we'll be fine. He's humanity's strongest soldier, after all!" She reassured, praising Levi a little more enthusiastically than I would have liked. _Wait. Time out. Why am I even BOTHERING with being jealous?!_ I shook my head and focused on the ever approaching wall.

At long last I was face to face with the massive wall that had been all I'd known of the world for the better portion of my life. Freedom was just on the other side and I could feel my stomach tighten with fear and anticipation. The gates opened and my eyes were met by a sky as blue as a robin's egg and it seemed to stretch into infinity, tiny tufts of white fluffy clouds peppered across the vast open space. The horizon held the sky to the ground and I could see nothing but open fields of fresh, green grass and trees that stretched for miles and miles. It was truly remarkable and more than a little breathtaking. _It's funny how removing the walls made the entire sky look completely different._

"Don't forget what lies out here, brat, this isn't as nice as it looks. Pay attention." Levi suddenly scolded me. You scowled at him for popping my bubble of wonder and said nothing.

"Everyone keep yourselves alert and on your guard. Let's make this quick." Levi grumbled as we all set off.

Petra and Olou bickered lightly as we searched for the right specimen. "Stop trying to be like the captain. He wouldn't say such things." Petra said under her breath, sounding annoyed. Olou replied sarcastically, which only made Petra _more_ annoyed. I was about to tell them to shut up when all of a sudden Hange yelled. "Six meter, north east, engage target!" She ordered. I turned in that direction and I felt your stomach drop to my feet.

There it was, a real life titan, right in front of me. This one had orange hair and huge, bulbous, blue eyes that seemed to protrude out of their sockets. It had an ugly flat face and a jaw that seemed much too big for its head. It wandered aimlessly near the edge of the forest until it spotted us. Its demeanor completely changed and it took off running towards our group. Panic seized me and I froze on my horse, suddenly unsure of what to do. "Europa, come on! Get moving or you WILL die!" Eld yelled after me. It was like I had become paralyzed. Try as I might, I just couldn't move. _Come on, come on, COME ON! DO SOMETHING, DAMN IT!_ I yelled to myself. "Move your fucking horse you idiot!" Levi's voice broke through fears strong embrace and I managed to kick my horse into a gallop, joining the rest of the squad. "Sorry, guys..." I apologized, muttering. "We get it. But it's really time to pay attention. It's now or never." Eld explained. I nodded my head and continued onwards with a renewed sense of duty. I was a member of the scouting legion, on Levi Ackerman's elite squad, no less, so it was time to start acting like it.

Eld was the first to launch in the air and he gracefully flew right past the titan onto a nearby tree branch. Petra and Oluo followed soon after on their horses in order to get a little closer to the titan while still maintaining speed. Levi and Hange stayed a good distance back but were close enough to jump right in, should the team need them. I decided to keep my distance as well so I could observe how the team worked as a unit so as to not get in their way.

Petra launched her gear into the titan's lower back and swung between its legs, blades out, and cut both tendons in the back of its knees. The titan stumbled but remained upright, trying to snatch Petra from her horse. Eld swung in and sliced all the tendons in the titans wrists and it's hands went limp. Gunter and Oluo came riding up behind the titan, each slicing open the achilles heel. Only then did the titan collapse on the ground, unable to move. It's huge, vacant eyes looked around at all of us and its mouth gaped open, snapping at the team. Hange, Levi and I approached the titan and began the rest of the immobilization process. I hesitated greatly, afraid it may heal quicker than anticipated and lash out, but I willed my legs to move me forward. Hange called me over so she could explain the immobilization protocol.

"In order to keep them completely immobile we need to keep their muscles from being able to expand and contract properly." She walked over to the single cart that they had brought along and pulled out what appeared to be a giant, metal nail. "We will insert these into each arm, each legs, and along the side of the spine, then tie the legs together and the arms around the back." She paused and slammed the nail into the titan's arm. It did not flinch, just continued to stare off into space. "There is a small, abandoned house not too far away. We'll attach a rope to its legs and attach the other end to each of our bodies and drag him to the house on our horses." She stated matter of fact. "Are you kidding?! Fuck that no way. Count me out!" Oluo protested. "How are we even going to managed to pull that thing? It's much too heavy." Petra added. "Well titans are actually very light in body weight, despite how big they are. Between the seven of us it should be relatively easy to drag it back to the house." I chimed in. Everyone turned their heads and stared at me. I made a confused face at them all. "What? It's true." I shrugged. "I just never hear you speak much and when you do it's just this random burst of facts. No wonder Hange picked you." Eld replied casually. "Well let's get moving!" Hange ordered enthusiastically.

A thin layer of sweat clung to my body as I finished inserting the last spike into the titans back near the middle vertebrae. I was already exhausted and dreaded the fact that we now had to drag a titan all the way back to this house Hange spoke of. _This house better not be that far away._

The journey was long and hot. The sun was almost in the center of the sky and beat down on my back relentlessly. I took my jacket off and rolled up the sleeves of my shirt in an attempt to cool down. The house finally came into view and I filled with relief.

Suddenly the ground began to tremble beneath me. My horse started whinnying in distress and the rumbled her hooves grew heavier and heavier.

"Titian! 12 meters! It looks to be a deviant!" Eld yelled to all of us. "Shit. Everyone cut your ropes and engage!" Levi order. "Protect my specimen as well as you can, everyone! But if it looks like you'll lose your life over it, retreat!" Hange added. I nodded my head and took off at a gallop toward the titan.

We were at a heavy disadvantage as since we were in a wide open field. There was nothing to anchor onto so everyone had to be extremely cautious. With the titan almost in range, Levi deployed his gear first, latching onto the titans shoulder. He flew with visible ease and sliced the titans jaw, causing it to go limp. The titan swung its arms up in the air in order to get Levi away from his face. Levi was too quick and had already landed on the ground. _Now's my chance to show everyone I'm more than just brains._ I increased my gallop and finally came close enough to deploy my gear as well. I hit my mark perfectly on its abdomen and flew towards the titan. Fear was seeping out of every pore in my body but the adrenaline coursing through it was so fierce that I was able to power through. Holding my blades the way Levi had taught me, I sliced a large chunk of the titans thigh and watched as it slid out onto the ground. The titans leg gave out and struggled to hold itself upright.

"Excellent hit, Europa!" Gunter called to me. Although unexpected, I smiled and nodded to him in thanks. I released my anchor and landed on the ground with a heavy thud. I managed to catch Levi's eye before he lifted off into the air again and you could have sworn I saw a smirk, but I pushed that thought from my mind. He clearly wasn't interested in me anymore, or so it seemed to me; I was making something out of nothing. Levi finished off the titan with a clean cut to the back of its neck and it toppled to the ground with an enormous bang. Everyone finally relaxed and headed back to where the other titan lay.

"Maaaaan I really don't want to drag this stupid thing back." Oluo whined under his breath. Everyone silently agreed, except for Hange. "Come on everyone! We have just a little bit more to go! I want to get there and start on my experiments!" Hange explained vehemently. It was going to be a long night for me.

Still exhausted, I reluctantly opened my eyes to see Hange staring at me. "OH MY GOD. WHAT THE HELL HANGE?!" I snapped, surprised. "Get up! We have to grab one more titan today! I don't want Jack to get lonely."

"Jack?"

"The titan we just caught, of course! I named him!" Hange replied proudly.

I laughed at her and slowly got up. "You really are something, Hange." I stretched and yawned. "Did you do any more research after I went to sleep?" I asked. She shook her head. "I figured I needed some sleep, too, so I had energy for today's endeavours." I nodded my head in agreement. "Well get a move on, everyone is waiting for you." I looked at her, eyes wide. "What?! Why did no one get me up?! Uhhhgg!" I rushed to get all of my gear on and started fast walking out the door. "Hange come on let's go!" I called to her. "Oh, I'm not going. I'm staying here with Jack to get some more experiments in. I expect to see you back here to help with our other experiments though! So don't die on me!" She yelled down the hallway with a huge smile on her face. I rolled my eyes and made my way out of the front door.

Levi, Oluo, Petra and Eld were waiting for me at the edge of the compound. "Where's Gunter?" I asked, noting he was absent. "He's staying back with Hange as precautionary measure should that beast break free some how." Oluo answered. "Gotchya. Well let's go then, shall we?" I suggested. Everyone except Levi acknowledged my proposal, but followed none the less.

The forest looked lush and green in the morning sun and the smell of the pine filled my lungs; I savored every breath. Almost no sun shown through into the forest, save a stray ray of light every so often. The five of us proceeded inside with great caution.

"So what's the plan here?" I asked. Everyone looked to Levi. "We split up. Eld with Olou go west, Petra with Europa go east, and I'll be going north but hopping between your pairs as well." Everyone nodded and set off in their given directions.

Petra and I traveled in comfortable silence, scanning the trees for the next specimen. Petra seemed nice enough, but I didn't really care to make new friends. However, I figured since she was my teammate now that I should try and befriend her.

"So Petra, how do you like being on Levi's squad? Is it hard? I've gathered that he's not the friendliest of types." Petra giggled at my comment. "No, he's not terribly friendly. He stays quiet more often than not, but he's a great captain." She looked off into the distance somewhere and a smile spread across her face. "We all trust him with our lives. We have to in order for this team to work as well as it does." Her smiled widened, "and it doesn't hurt that he's so good looking!" I gave her a sideways glance and tried to keep my eye from twitching. "Are you and the captain seeing each other?" I asked bluntly while trying to sound as even toned as possible.

I couldn't help the growing seed of jealousy that had planted itself within me. These emotions frustrated me to no end. I couldn't seem to wrap my head around the situation between the two of I was so sure he was interested in me that I didn't even question it. Other times, however, and more often than not recently, I got the feeling that he wanted nothing to do with me. Hearing Petra talk about him so casually, like _she's_ known him forever, really cut into me, for some reason.

"Oh goodness no!" Her face turned bright red and relief washed over me like a tidal wave. "Captain Levi doesn't see me in that way. I don't know if he ever will see someone that way. I just hope it _is_ me when he does." She added bashfully. I gave her a weak smile and let the conversation die right there.

"What about you, Europa? How do you like being in the survey corps?" She asked, resurrecting the exchange. I sighed internally. "It's pretty alright, I guess. I really like the fact that I have all this access to a lab and such. It's much different than what I'm used to."

Nostalgia hit me like a brick wall as I remembered all the men, women, and children I tried relentlessly to save from the fall of Shiganshina. I clenched my fists around the hilt of my blades and tried to push the thoughts away.

"Being apart of this team is a real honor, though. I've done my research on all of you, and I must say you all are pretty amazing. I'm proud to be apart of this team. I just hope I don't get in anyone's way."

"As long as you trust us you'll never get in the way." She said sweetly, smiling kindly at me.

Rapidly, I deployed my anchor in the complete opposite direction as I had almost collided with a 14 meter class who had peaked around a tree. "Shit!" I cursed.

The titans hands flew up into the air trying, in vain, to capture me. I had swung behind him and landed on a branch high above his head. Petra had done the same on a branch across the way from me.

"Petra, what do we do? Engage or not?" She hesitated and shifted uncomfortably on her feet. I waited for her reply. _If we don't engage we run the risk of it not only following us, but running into the others as well. I don't see any other options._

Petra's uncertain manner quickly disappeared and her stance changed to one of attack. "Engage target, Europa!" I nodded my head and set off after the titan. Latching onto its shoulder, I swung low and aimed my blades for the backs of the knees. Quickly and efficiently I sliced both backs and the titan cried out. The sound had caught me completely off guard and caused me to lose control as I landed on a tree branch. I slipped and tumbled down, hitting a few branches in the process. A broken branch tore a huge gash into my thigh and I cried out from the searing pain. _Fuck. I need to deploy an anchor_. The ground was approaching much quicker than I would have liked and panic started creeping into my system. Looking around rapidly, I began searching for some sort of exit strategy. The ground was becoming dangerously close at this point. _There!_ I found the perfect shot but I only had a brief window of opportunity to make it.

Time stood still and all the sound around me was muffled as I took the shot. I looked down and hoped with all my might that I wouldn't come face to face with the cold, hard ground - literally.

There was a gentle thud.

The anchor had met its mark.

My body shot upwards and I let a few tears of happiness slide down my face. "Oh my god." I whispered in between breaths. The branch I stood on was high enough away that I was able to get myself together, but only for a moment; Petra needed me. "Damn it! What the-" I looked down at my leg to see that the whole thing was completely drenched in blood and it was starting to form a small puddle underneath me, seeping into the bark. "Fuck!" Thinking quickly, I took off my jacket and undid the leather strap on my thigh.

Pain seared through my whole body as I tried to undo the strap without touching the wound, but it was futile. I refused to scream, so I bit my lip until I almost bit right through it. Carefully, I wrapped my jacket around the gash, using the sleeves as a makeshift tourniquet. I put the strap back on over the jacket and tightened it as much as I could. The pain was absolutely indescribable, but I had managed to stall the bleeding some.

"Europa! Are you okay?!" Petra called, flying in next to me. The titan was following right behind her - we had to moved fast.

"Yeah. I'll be okay. Let's finish this." I said, getting up shakily. I felt a little dizzy from all the blood loss but refused to let it stop me. If I was going to be apart of this team and this organization, I had to prove my worth.

Petra eyed me up and down with concern but she couldn't argue. There was no time. We both launched an anchor and came at the titan with great speed. The titan had been preoccupied with Petra so it turned its head in her direction, leaving me a perfect opening to slice the back of its neck. In one swift flick of my blades, a huge chunk of neck meat came sliding out and down to the ground. The titan stopped dead in its tracks and fell to the ground, taking a few trees with it.

I landed sloppily on a tree branch and slumped over and leaned against the trunk. Sweat was pouring down my face and I felt like you was going to lose consciousness sooner rather than later. _I will not die. I will not die! I refuse!_ Petra rushed over to me and knelt down.

"Europa what happened? Oh god, we need to get you to an infirmary." She said, horrified by all the blood she could see. "I'm..." Your breathing was labored and harsh, "...fine... I just... Just get me... Compound... Hange..." Was all I could muster before you slipped into blackness.

What felt like seconds later, I came back to and heard someone yelling my name. A hand had taken hold of my shoulder and began shaking me.

"Europa! Damn it you idiot, do not die on me! Stay awake!" The voice sounded so far away and I couldn't seem to open my eyes to see who it was. "Europa stay with me! Shit! Round up the others, we have to go back, now!" Someone had picked me up off of the branch. Every little movement felt like I was floating in the ocean - nothing seemed real. I was still unable to open my eyes, but sounds were becoming easier to distinguish. I moaned in pain as I was set down once again. "Europa, please, you have to stay awake. I can't lose you." The voice pleaded with me. I could have sworn it was Levi, but I had no way of knowing. All of this seemed like a dream and I could feel myself fading again. "No! No! Stay awake! Shit, Europa!" The voice faded out into the distance and I plunged into darkness once more.


	9. Chapter 9

_Cold air wrapped around me like vicious claws around an innocent prey. I had no idea where I was and all I saw was darkness. A faint orange light was the only sign of life that I could see. It flickered wildly, as if beckoning me forward. With no other options, I took a step forward. The ground beneath me came to life as my foot hit what appeared to be a glass stepping stone of sorts. I could see right through the glass, but no reflection of stared back at me. A shiver ran down my spine. Just where was I?_

 _With each step, a new square of glass appeared. I noticed they gradually began ascending, seemingly bringing me closer to the glowing orb of light._

 _I felt like I had been walking for hours yet I still didn't seem any closer to the ball of light then when I started. Then, all of a sudden, the orb was right on front of me, a soft halo of pale, yellow light encircling it. "What do I do?" I whispered to the orb. My voice sounded like I was under water, gurgled and distorted. I couldn't think of what else to do, so I raised both of my hands and grabbed the orb._

 _The glass floor shook beneath my feet and began to crack rapidly. The ground fell away, yet I did not fall. Piercing white lights shone through the cracks and as pieces fell away quicker and quicker, the room became illuminated it pure, white light._

 _And then I found myself in my childhood bedroom. Nothing had changed, the bed was still unmade, as always, and my bookshelf still had my three favorite books missing, leaving three little black rectangles amongst the numerous other books on the shelf. I stepped over to the books and ran my finger along all the spines. Nostalgia trickled into my veins and took hold of my heart._

 _"Europa." A voice rang out, cutting my train of thought. It was my mother's voice. I turned my head to the doorway to confirm with my eyes and sure enough, there she was._

 _My mother had always been the most beautiful women in the world to me. She had thick, wild hair the color of freshly polished copper. A light dusting of freckles sprinkled across her high cheek bones and disappeared into her hairline. She was of average height for a woman with a full body that was strong, yet soft and demure. Her face had a heart shape, and a smile that made you feel like you were the only person in the world she loved._

 _People had often told me that I was the dark haired version of my mother. I had gotten my dark chocolate hair color from my father; it stretched all the way to my chest. But most of all, everyone always said I had my mother's eyes. Mine, just like hers, changed color at random. They went from being peppered with copper flakes upon a sea of forest green to almost a deep teal color with brown highlights peeking through._

 _Seeing her face made a deep sadness well up in my heart. I missed my mother more than words could describe. She was my entire world, my best friend, and my idol, and still was._

 _She walked over to me and sat on the bed. It dipped slightly at the newfound weight. "Honey, what are you doing here?" She asked, her voice velvety soft and as warm as a summer breeze. "What do you mean? This is my room. Why can't I be in here?" I asked, concerned. "Europa, look at yourself." I stared down at my hands and realized I wasn't a child this wasn't a dream. It only now just struck me that it would be impossible for me to be sitting here with my mother unless…_

 _"Am I dead?" I asked quietly, looking down at my hands. Hers grabbed mine and she held them up to her mouth and gently kissed them. "No sweetie, but you could be. It's your choice." You were completely shocked at this answer. "If you get to choose whether you want to die or not, how much you and dad chose to die?" I blurted out. My mother smiled sadly. "We didn't get the choice, everything happened much too quickly." She looked away from me. "But you do. You could walk through that door and you'll be with your father and I again. Or..." she hesitated and looked back at me, a light sadness caressing her soft features, "...you can go back to the world of the living. It would seem you have some fairly important things to deal with right now." She said, a somber smile upon her lips. I wondered what she was referring to. "Like what?" I asked, glumly._

 _In all honesty, there was a huge part of me that wanted to walk through that door and be reunited with my parents for good; to have them by my side once again would make all of this pain I've been through disappear._

" _Look at what you've accomplished. Was it all for naught?" She spoke honestly, and it really made me rethink your choice. You fidgeted with the edge of your shirt._

 _But then my thoughts strayed to Levi. And the regiment. And Hange. And humanity. And… and life. A life that just barely became manageable. A life that I now want to live._

 _"I have to go back." I stated simply. This time she put her hands on either side of my face. And looked at me, my eyes mirroring hers._

 _"Great things await you, Europa. I know they do. And we'll be together one day, you don't have to worry. Just go be the best 'you' you can be, and don't let anything get in the way of what you want. Be fierce, be bold, follow your gut, but always consider your heart. Know that dad and I love you very much and we're watching over you all the time." She kissed my forehead, stood up, and disappeared from sight._

 _The orange orb had taken her place and beckoned to me once more. I grabbed it and was instantly plunged into darkness._

My eyes crept open and were met with the ground moving rapidly beneath me. Something soft and warm was pressed against my chest and I realized it was a horse. There was also a slight pressure around my waist. I moved my arm slowly and carefully touched the object. An arm rested there, securing me to whoever was I was riding with. My hand dropped, the weight almost impossible for me to hold up. My eyes opened wider and I tried to sit up, but my efforts were to no avail.

A white hot pain shot through my whole leg and I moaned in pain. I had lost a lot of blood, but I held on to life with all of my might.

"Europa? Europa, are you awake?" The voice behind me called out. Something about that voice instantly boosted my energy. I tried to reply but the words wouldn't come.

Summoning my strength once again, I wrapped my hand around the hand that was holding me in place and squeezed it to let whoever it was know that I could hear them. Without skipping a beat, the hand squeezed back and held mine tightly. My heart swelled. It was Levi.

The swaying motion of the horse began to slow down until it came to a stop. Levi's arm unwrapped itself but gingerly rested on my back as he got off his horse. Still unable to move, he lifted me off of the horse and carried me into the house.

He set me down atop a bed and just stared at me. My eyes were at half mast but I stared right back. "What do I do?" He asked feebly, more to himself than to me. "Get...medkit...ask Hange..." I breathed out. He hesitated but left me alone to go find Hange.

The pain in my leg was excruciating.I had no idea if the bleeding had slowed any but I assumed it must have since I was still alive, although just barely. My pants and jacket were completely soaked through, staining everything they touched.

Even while laying down I felt like I was in freefall and the edges of my vision were coming increasingly more blurry. This wound needed to be closed or I _would_ die, of that much I was certain. There wouldn't be a second chance. I closed my eyes and tried to focus my thoughts on something else.

My mother's face was still burned into my mind. She looked like she hadn't aged a day, but I figured that was only because my subconscious had no other memory of her any older than that. It had been years since I had lost my parents and to have seen her when I was on the brink of death made me begin to rethink my life.

I came to the conclusion that I wanted Levi. In every way, shape, and form. Everything else in my life was more or less perfect, aside from my current position, that is. I had made it out of the underground, became a doctor, helped countless lives, and now I was a member of the scouting legion, under Levi's command, no less.

I was never one to believe in fate, but it seemed _too_ coincidental that I was reunited with Levi after all these years. There had to be a reason, I felt. If this much was true, I believe everything happens for a reason, but sometimes we don't find the answer to that reason immediately. To me, realizing that about life made it more bearable. Considering everything that's transpired between the two of us in the past week, I was beginning to believe that maybe it was _me_ who needed to push things along, if I wanted any real answers from him. He clearly had no intentions of telling me anything and I couldn't just let something like this go.

Levi finally returned with Hange, medkit in tow. "Europa what the hell happened?!" Hange exclaimed. I cracked my eyes open. "Needle...sutures... Prop me... up." She did as instructed and handed me the materials which I took with shaky hands. "Undo...jacket...strap..." My breathing was beginning to grow more and more labored the more I spoke.

Pain radiated throughout my entire body as Hange undid the jacket. "Fucking shit." I whispered hoarsely. Once the gash was exposed to the air, I screamed in pain. All the nerve endings seethed in raw anguish and I felt tears stream from the corners of my eyes. My fist remains clenched, my knuckles turning white around the needle in my hand.

"Move over. I'll do it." Levi ordered out of nowhere. I heard Hange move over and felt Levi's presence next to me. My face was covered in sweat and my breathing was quick. The wound had started bleeding heavily again and I struggled to remain awake. "Europa, I need you to stay with me. " he said softly. His hands peeled back the fabric around the gash and gently as possible, but he had to move with urgency if he wanted to save me. "Talk to me." He spoke. "About what?" I said through gritted teeth. "Anything." His voice was calm and concentrated.

"Why...why did you... kiss me...?" I said. If it wasn't for the extreme amount of pain I were in, I would have been shocked by my own words. His hands faltered only for a second, clearly not expecting that question to come out of my mouth considering Hange was still in the room.

He was silent for a moment as he worked on my leg. He had applied a better tourniquet to the top of my thigh and had ordered Hange to come apply added pressure to my leg as well so he could stitch me up.

"Because it felt right." He finally answered. I was silent, and somewhat speechless. _Then why did you avoid me?_ But just as I was about to speak again a new pain ravaged my body and I wailed out in anguish. I was breathing in huge gasps and tried to remain as still as possible. He stitched my gash up with steady, quick hands. I was reaching the peak of my pain tolerance and I felt myself slipping in and out of consciousness.

"Europa? Stay awake. I'm almost done. Keep talking." Levi urged. With every last ounce of energy I could muster I replied. "Then..why did..." I gritted my teeth and continued, "Why did you... act so cold...to me?" I gasped.

This time he was silent. He just continued to stitch my leg up. Hange coughed lightly, I had forgot she was even in the room. Clearly, she felt awkward about this exchange between the two of us. He finished the last stitch and pulled away from me, my body oddly longing for his touch. "Hange, could you please go grab something clean to wrap her leg up?" He asked quietly. I heard her get up and leave the room rather quickly.

An uncomfortable silence filled the room until Levi finally spoke.

"I don't know how to handle these emotions. I haven't felt anything like this in a long time." He mumbled. I kept my eyes closed, extreme fatigue was taking over my whole body. "I... I can't do this... If you..." I paused to catch my breath for a minute but the words got lost in my throat when Hange walked in. Levi remained silent and took the bandages from her. "Hange you can go, it's fine." Levi said. "Are you sure? Do you need anything else? Europa do you need anything?" She asked, genuine concern in her voice. I shook my head 'no'. My head felt like it was a thousand pounds as I struggled to shake it. "Okay. I'll check on you later." She said, no doubt wanting an explanation about my conversation with Levi. She turned on her heel and left, closing the door gently behind her.

Levi began wrapping my leg and I cried out in pain once again. Tears were streaming down my face and I struggled not to let out a pathetic whimper. Finally, the pain was too much to bare and I passed out without saying another word.


	10. Chapter 10

Light flooded my vision when I finally opened my eyes again. It couldn't have been past noon because the room still had a very soft glow to it. I noticed I wasn't in my uniform any more, as well. Instead, I had on a loose pair of pants and a plain white t-shirt. My face flushed at the mere thought of Levi changing me, but I assumed Hange was the one who had done it, hopefully. My hair was an absolute knotted mess atop my head and my throat felt like it had never had a taste of water before.

I tried to sit up when suddenly a great surge of agony shot through my body. "Damn it!" I hissed. I lay there just staring at the ceiling trying to let the pain alleviate. _I can't believe I said those things to Levi. And he definitely won't let that go. I can't believe I passed out in the middle of talking, either._ I thought to myself, annoyed.

The door opened slowly and Hange crept in. Her face lit up when she realized I was awake. She rushed over to my bedside. "Oh, you're finally awake! How do you feel?" She asked hurriedly. "Wa.. ter." I responded horsely. There had been a cup next to the bed and she handed it to me. I drained the cup in one go and handed it back to her. "Thank you. How long have I been asleep for?"

"Roughly three days."

"Three days?! Oh my god!" I replied, utterly shocked. "Well, yeah. You sustained massive trauma to your body. I thought you would be out longer, to be honest." Hange spoke. "So what the hell is up with you and King shorty?" She asked rather bluntly, getting down to the point. I sighed heavily. "He kissed me while we were training and acted all weird and distant right up until I got injured." I replied, a little sadness in my voice, and then sighed, "just please don't say anything." I didn't want to tell Hange that I'd known Levi since I was young just yet; she didn't _need_ to know.

"I can't believe he actually kissed you. That's terribly out of character for him. He's must feel really strongly about you. But don't worry, your secret is safe with me." She smirked and pushed her glasses up, "you're lucky I like you." She paused to snicker and winked at me. "And here I had assumed that he hated you." I just raised my eyebrows in agreement and let out another heavy sigh.

The two of us continued to talk about the experiments and how 'Jack' was doing. I honestly couldn't wait to get back on my feet and do some of these experiments with her. She said she'd bring some notebooks by later so I could get caught up on everything.

"Well anyway, I'm okay right now. I think I might go back to sleep actually." I said quietly. Hange nodded her head. "You know, we're all really glad you're okay." I smiled weakly, and she returned the smile before walking out the door. It made me feel really good to know I was actually considered one of the team now.

I lay there for another few minutes, drifting in and out of sleep when there was a knock on the door. "Come in." I called as loud as I could. To my surprise the entire team walked through the door, save Levi, and made themselves comfortable around my bed.

"Oh, Europa! I'm so glad you're okay! I-I was so worried! I didn't know what to do! I'm so sorry!" Petra was the first to break the silence. I closed my eyes slowly and smiled slightly. "It's not your fault Petra, it's mine for letting that titans yell frighten me. Don't worry. You were great." A few tears escaped her eyes and she smiled back. I was beginning to grow very tired now.

"You're a real fighter. That's a good characteristic to have. Glad to have you safe." Eld piped up. Gunther and Oluo nodded their heads in agreement. "Okay guys let's let her get back to sleep. We just wanted to say it's good to have you safe." Petra said with a huge smile plastered across her face. It warmed my heart to see that they really considered me one of their own. They all said their goodbyes and left the room one by one until I was left alone once more.

The silence in the room became heavy as I thought about Levi. I was a little hurt that he hadn't come to see me. I had thought, no, _hoped_ , he would have come by now. But he hadn't. I held out as long as I could, but eventually my eyes closed and I drifted back into sleep.

When I awoke again, the room was dark and there was one lone light next to my bed illuminating the whole room. I looked over towards the light and my heart got caught in my throat. Levi was sitting there, teacup in hand, staring out the window in deep thought.

"Levi?" I said feebly. His head snapped in my direction and relief flooded his face. He set the teacup down and moved closer to me. "Hey." Was all he said. I smiled a little wider and replied, "Hi." The room became thick with some sort of emotion; I couldn't quite place my finger on it, but whatever it was it made my heart beat fast and butterflies dance in my stomach.

He took my hand in his and began tracing little circles on it with his thumb. His touch set my skin on fire. A warmth spread throughout my body and I swore it could have healed my wound in no time. My smile grew even wider and he noticed. "What?" He inquired, monotone as always." I laid my eyes upon him and stared deep into his cloudy gray ones. "You just make me happy." I answered honestly. He faltered for a moment, clearly unsure of what to say back.

"What were you going to say? Before you passed out?" He asked, acting like I hadn't said a thing. My face fell just a bit and I looked away from him. I wanted to take my hand away, but I decided I also wanted to hold it as much as I could until he let go. I felt like he would do that after what I was about to say.

"I can't do this with you, whatever this is, right now. I need you to choose between turning this into something more or just dropping me all together. I don't want to play these games and I don't want my heart to hurt anymore." My voice started shaking a tiny bit. "You make me really happy. You make me feel..." I searched for the right words. "You make me feel whole. You feel like home." I finished, whispering the last part. I kept my gaze away from his and braced myself for him to take his hand away.

He didn't.

Instead he moved onto the bed and laid next to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and gently pulled me to him. It was apparent he was new to being this close to another person because his movements were awkward and seemed forced.

Despite that, my body melted into his and I breathed in his scent. It was earthy, with hints of cleaner buried under the smell of fresh air. It was heavenly to me. It made me relax almost instantaneously and I could barely feel the pain in my leg at that moment.

"Europa, I watched you almost slip away from me. For a moment I thought I had completely lost you and I realized I couldn't bare losing you. I told myself that if you made it through all of this, I wouldn't shy away from you anymore." He paused for a moment. His words sank in and I felt tears well up in my eyes. "I just need you to give me time to figure out how to deal with these emotions. I'm still struggling with how to show you I want you. But please know that I do." He added.

I placed a hand against his chest and nuzzled my face into it. His hand found my own and held it clumsily. We sat there for a while, just enjoying each other's presence. My eyelids grew heavy and slowly got lower each time I blinked. Half awake, half asleep I spoke to him. "Please don't leave." I said, meaning it in more ways than one. I didn't know if he replied because soon after, I fell asleep.

When I awoke again, the room was bright, but Levi was gone. My spirits sank immediately. _Is this what it will be like then? One moment he's mine, the next he's a stranger?_

Just then the door opened and Levi walked in, fresh bandages in hand. I sighed in relief, a little annoyed with yourself for thinking he had left.

He was his usually silent, stoic self, but there was a gentleness in his movements when he was around me. He set the bandages down on the bed and peeled the blanket back from my legs. I turned beet red when I realized that he had to take my pants off in order to wrap my bandages.

"Ahhhh. Uhhh. Umm. I think I can do my bandages. It's okay." I said hurriedly, shrinking away from him with an embarrassed look on my face. His eyes met mine and I quickly looked away. A smirk crept into his face. "Whatever. I'll be back." He looked me over once more and then left the room.

A huge burst of air hissed out of my mouth as the nervousness left my body. It's not that I didn't want to be with Levi that way, I just wasn't ready for him to see me. And especially not when my leg looked all mangled and bloody. The heat from my face slowly sunk back down my neck and eventually disappeared.

Trying to take my pants off was perhaps the hardest thing I had ever attempted. Every tiny movement sent a wave of torturous pain crashing over my nerves. By the time I had gotten my pants all the way past my knees, I had noticed a slight sheen of sweat had beaded my forehead. I lay back for a minute, wiping my forehead, and catching my breath. _Well now I kind of wish I had had him do this. This is exhausting._ I sat back up and grabbed the bandages and set them next to me. Tentatively, I undid the bloody, crusted bandages around my leg and I bit my lip from the pain.

My leg looked awful, like a horror story, to put it mildly. There was both fresh and old blood around the cut creating a sort of rusty red mosaic over the skin. A bowl with a rag in it sat on a table next to the bed, no doubt Levi's doing. I grabbed it, surprised by the warmth, and began cleaning up the stitches. "Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow!" I repeated over and over until I finished wiping the area. I closed my eyes and took a minute to prepare myself for the pain of putting the bandages on.

A heavy sigh escaped my lips and I began wrapping my leg. "Fuck me. This is so painful. Damn it." I cursed through gritted teeth. I dipped the bandages in the water so that they could act as a sort of capillary action for the bacteria in the wound, drawing it to the surface and eventually drying on the bandage. It was an old method, but I didn't have many options at this point.

After I finished wrapping my leg, I secured the bandages, noticing faint spots of red already coming through. "Awww man. Come on." I whined. It wasn't a lot of blood, and I had expected it to bleed again, but it still irritated me. I slipped my pants back on as carefully as I could and collapsed back on the bed.

I stared up at the ceiling, thoughts racing through my head. I wondered just how I was suppose to be of any help to anyone right now. My recovery time was going to keep me on house arrest for a long while. _Just as soon as I get comfortable with everyone I have to get injured. Uhgg._ I was mad at myself for being afraid of the titans howl. I tried to convince myself it wasn't my fault, I had never heard that sound before, afterall. I knew that they made that sound though, so at the same time I felt I _should_ be mad at myself.

The door opened again and this time Levi and Hange walked in. "Europa?" Hange asked timidly. "Oh yeah. I'm up. Just laying here looking at this really exciting ceiling." I replied sarcastically. Hange laughed and walked over to me and helped prop me up. "It's good to see some life back in you." Her smile was infectious and I found yourself smiling too.

"Well down to business. We clearly need to get you back to the city. We're almost out of bandages for you and it doesn't seem like you're going to stop bleeding any time soon. I mean, it's slowed considerably, but we need to get you to an actual infirmary." Hange stated. I nodded my head in agreement but then an idea struck me.

"Actually, do we have any honey here with us?" I asked. Both Levi and Hange gave me the strangest look. I looked from Hange to Levi and spoke to him directly. "You, the one with the tea, you must have some honey, no?" I asked, mockingly. His jaw tightened in slight annoyance at my playful remark. "I do, actually. Why?" He asked, genuinely curious. Hange leaned forward too. "Yeah, what for?" I was mildly surprised that Hange didn't know why I wanted it, but then again, not many people had the type of medical knowledge I had.

"Honey is a natural antibacterial ointment. If I put some on before we depart back to the city, my leg may bleed a little less and thus create a safer journey for me, and a less stressful one for you guys." I stated with ease. Both of them just looked at me with completely confusion. "Just what did you have to do when Shiganshina fell?" Hange blurted out. I winced from the memories for a fraction of a second, but Levi had noticed my face change.

"Ah. My mother actually taught me that. She was a doctor as well. I don't know how she learned about it, I just know it really does work." I replied timidly. I didn't like to talk about my parents much. Hange placed her fingers on her chin and nodded her head. Shrugging her shoulders she said, "well you are the official doctor here, so I trust your judgment. Go get her your honey, short stack." Hange ordered Levi. His jaw visibly tightened at the stab at his height. "Whatever, shitty glasses." He rolled his eyes and quickly left the room. She shook her head and laughed, sitting down next to me on the bed.

"So how's Jack?" I inquired. Excitement overtook Hange. "Oh, so marvelous! I'm learning so much! I really cannot wait for you to get back into the swing of things. I'm sure there's just so much you can add." She rambled on hurriedly. I smiled intently at her and replied. "Well, I may be stuck doing just labs and notes for a while, but I'm equally as anxious to back to work. It's a real bummer that I never got the chance to work directly with him."

The door opened again, Levi had returned, honey in hand. He stuck it out to me and I grabbed the bottle. "Did you bring anything to apply it with?" You asked casually. Levi's eyes were the only thing that gave away his emotion. He was a seemed annoyed he had forgotten something as simple as that.

"Awesome. I just _love_ doing it with my hands." I said with mock enthusiasm. I inspected the honey with my eyes, the smell bringing a rush of memories to my mind. A sad smile crept onto my face. I capped it and set it to the side. I was going to let the bandages dry a bit before I unwrapped them again. Plus, I was exhausted from doing it the first time.

"When are we leaving?" I asked, eyes already closed. "We wanted to leave tonight, actually." Hange replied.

"At night?" I said, a little caught off guard.

"Yes. It would appear the titans are less active when the sun is down. It's still risky regardless, but it's safer than going during the day."

I mauled this thought over in my head. In all honesty, it terrified me down to the bone. Not only were there titans out there, but I wouldn't be able to see one until it was right in front of my face. And _then_ what would I do? Not to mention I was completely useless at the moment.

I realized Hange and Levi were still in the room and wondered how long I had been silent for. "Oh. Well, okay then. I'll let my bandages dry a little more before I apply a new set of dressings with the honey." I paused for a second, hoping they had just assumed I was thinking about the situation and not dumb-struck with fear. "Do we still have anything to use as a bandage?" I finished. Hange looked over at Levi and then at me. "I don't think so, but shorty over here will go look, won't chya?!" She told Levi. He shot her a death glare. "Okay jeez. I'll go." Hange rolled her eyes and sighed, "God forbid I get in between him and MY partner..." She whispered sarcastically. I giggled silently to myself as she made a very dramatic exit from the room.

Levi sat there and stewed in his emotions, saying nothing to me. I sighed and spoke first. "What is it you want to talk about, captain?" He shot a look of annoyance at me, but it quickly faded. "You're afraid." He stated directly. This time _I_ stayed silent and waited for him to speak again. "It's okay to be afraid," he started, his voice suddenly soft, "but you can't let the fear overpower you and control you in times of crisis. That's how you end up dead and left behind out here." He finished rather darkly. I remained silent. I had wanted to ask him a question, but it was something personal, and I knew how Levi felt about personal anything.

So, instead I let the conversation end. Levi always surprised me with his brief moments of tenderness, and I had wished they were more frequent.

Tension radiated from his body and I was beginning to wonder what else he was thinking. Before I could ask him what was troubling him, Hange came through the door with bandages in her hand.

"It's not much, but it should do the trick." She sighed and handed them over. "This is the last of it though, so we definitely need to leave tonight." I nodded my head in agreement and examined the bandages. They would suffice, I concluded. "I should be ready to go by the time the sky turns dark." I replied, still examining the wraps.

"Perfect! Well I'll see you then. I'm gonna go head back over to get my last few moments in with my precious Jacky-Jack. Oh, how I can't bare to leave him!" She wailed, real tears forming in her eyes. I nodded in empathy, knowing all too well the heartbreak of not being able to continue your studies.

The door clicked shut and the room filled with tension once more. Levi had been silent for far too long and it was starting to get on my nerves. I tried not to let it bother me; I knew he wasn't used to expressing his emotions, but I couldn't help but feel a little annoyed and hurt that he didn't trust me enough to share what was on his mind.

"What's bothering you so much?" I asked finally. He didn't move, not even to look at me, and kept his mouth shut. Wincing in pain, I sat further up and folded my hands neatly in my lap. "You can trust me with your thoughts, you know." I muttered, staring at my hands. Yet still he remained quiet. "Well if you aren't going to tell me what's wrong, then at least drop your attitude." I snapped. That got his attention. His gaze pierced mine with such intensity that it almost made me look away, but I held it, meeting his intensity.

"Watch your mouth, brat." He snapped back at me. A fire ignited inside me at that comment.

"I _know_ you don't think you can speak to me that way. I get it when other people are around, but when it's just you and me, don't you for a second think I'll take that shit from you. Unlike a lot of people, I won't hesitate to kick your don't scare me, Levi." I replied with a tinge of venom in my voice. His face completely changed to that of utter shock. He clearly wasn't used to people talking to him this way.

"Tch. You don't scare me either." Was his reply. Although he didn't say the words 'I'm sorry' I knew that was his way of apologizing. I shook my head and rolled my eyes. "Can you come over here? Please?" I asked. He looked you up and down. "Why?"

"Uhg. Just get over here." I sighed, patting the bed. He reluctantly stood up, walked over to me and sat down. "What?" He asked lazily. I grabbed his face in my hands and brought him close to me. I stared into his eyes and then kissed him gently on the lips. "You are one of the most frustrating human beings I have ever encountered." I smiled, "but please trust me enough to let me into your head. You mean so much to me, but I feel like you keep your distance from me, emotionally speaking." I dropped my hands from his face and stared off behind him. "I know you aren't used to it, but I need you to at least try. That's all I'm asking for." I finished. I returned my gaze to his and found that his silver orbs were overflowing with emotions I couldn't quite make out.

"I'm..." He started. "I'm afraid too." He said, answering the question that I had wanted to ask him earlier. "I'm afraid something will happen to you. You're already injured and we have a long distance to travel before we're safe inside the wall." He said somberly. "I just got you back and I don't want to lose you again." He whispered the last part. A lump formed in my throat and I immediately grabbed his hand and laced my fingers with his own. He mirrored my movements and held onto my hand snuggly.

"I'm not going anywhere. Wherever you go, I'll be right behind you, because I can't stand the thought of losing you again, either." I replied with as much truth in my voice as I could muster. He brought our entwined hands up to his mouth and kissed my hand with a feather light touch. Nothing more was said, we both just sat there, letting the weight of tonight's journey settle upon us.


End file.
